Letters to the Editor
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My Husband Is Jealous of Colbert
At first, my husband thought Stephen Colbert was a brainy, funny guy. Then, after a while, I noticed he seemed somewhat annoyed at Colbert.
"Not funny!" he would blurt out, when one 30 second segment of a half-hour, four-times-weekly show was a tad flat. Then, he got louder -- "You're BOMBING!" my husband would shout, at another seconds-long lag.
I wondered if my husband was turning into his 82 year-old father, a man who could easily have served as the template for Frank Costanza on "Seinfeld", a crazy old man whose ear-shattering screams of "IDIOT!" at "Wheel of Fortune" contestants has prompted polite wall-knocks from the nice lady who shares the two-family house.
But then I realized what was afoot. I was paying a leeeedle too much attention to Mr Colbert. I was laughing at his jokes, something I rarely do when my husband makes an attempt at what passes for humor in his world. I sometimes said "Brilliant!" and "He's exactly right!" and "He's so smart!"
And once I said "I LOVE Stephen Colbert, he's great!"
That was when my spouse stared making his sour remarks at the television. He is jealous of Colbert. Jealous I might be FANTASIZING about Stephen Colbert after the show is over and the lights go out. Jealous I might...I don't know.. see Colbert on the streets of Manhattan and run off with him for parts unknown? Who knows what madness has been awakened in my husband's mind? All I know is, he sure gets angry when my face lights up while watching the show.
Thank goodness I can watch the parts of the show I missed because of my husband's outbursts on comedycentral.com and crooksandliars.com.Thank goodness for the internets.
And thank you, Stephen.
I do fancy you a bit.