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Wednesday, October 18, 2006 12:00 AM

Can Frodo save Iraq?

Sen. Rick Santorum thinks the war is distracting the "Eye of Mordor." But we really want to know your fantastical literary metaphors for the war in Iraq!

The letters thread is now closed.

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Wednesday, October 18, 2006 02:59 PM

I think "Mr. Sauron" has it backwards as to who has the Eye

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blbushlordrings.htm

Frodo Failed...

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 03:01 PM

May I suggest Moby Dick?

Bush as Ahab chasing the white whale (WMD).

Seen as a story of good vs. evil (isn't that how Bush describes this "war on terrorism") in which Melville describes the ill-fated voyage of the leaky Pequod (Bush Administration) and examines the nature of man, his hubris and Ahab's search for salvation.

Cheney and Rove as Queequeg and Daggoo - only slightly more "savage"

Condi as Starbuck.

Rumsfeld as Fedallah, the sinister leader of the boat crew.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 03:08 PM

Pulp Fiction

The metaphor for the war in Iraq that comes to mind is not a literary one but rather one from a film we have all seen. The film I am thinking of is "Pulp Fiction". I am sure we all remeber when Bruce Willis returns to his apartment to reclaim his watch. He plans to be in and out of his apartment in less then a minute. However, he is surprised to find John Travolta waiting for him. Bruce Willis kills Travolta and events soon sprawl out of control. Before he knows what has happened, Willis is bound, gagged, bleeding and being threatened with sodomy by a hooded gimp and some redneck freaks in a basement. This isn't what Willis had planned, it was all supposed to be easy and go off without a hitch.

In the end, it all works out for Willis which is where the metaphor breaks down. A better metaphor would be to tack on the end of "Requiem for a Dream" where there are 3 different possible outcomes for the war in Iraq. You can choose Forced Electroshock Therapy, Gang Rape or losing a limb. "Stay the Course" and this is the kind of ending you get to look forward to.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 03:12 PM

shrub is not Boromir

Boromir eventually recognized the error of his ways and made the ultimate sacrifice to try to make amends. Does anyone realy expect that from shrub and his ilk?

Try Saruman instead. He managed to sink to Saurons level on almost every issue, only the scale was different and he did it. Think turdblossom as Wormtongue. Think cheney as Denethor.

Saruman and shrub even have similar environmental policies.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 03:20 PM

what about the Ents?

There has been some mention of Bush as Sauron...but I see a bigger analogy with Sauramon.

Susceptible to manipulation by other sources of greater power, he devotes all of his energy to war.

He turned his back on people that were his friends (what happend to bipartisanship?) and betrays his allies (oh Europe...Middle Earth as it were, "Old Europe" with all its little friends and all its little dreams).

In his ascent to power he makes a deal with the Sauron (the neo-con kabal who secured the 2000 election, and is aptly fronted by Cheney, holed up in his "secure location" in Mordor), and turns to an evil orc army for his forces (I do NOT think the US Army is evil...I am referring more to the mercenary forces of Haliburton, which strikes me as dangerous and scary).

Then he scourges the once-green earth in order to wage his foolish war. There's even a New Orleans style flood, induced by the wrath of nature and putting a damper on the war machine. Ultimately the Ents (global warming and environmental catastrophe) will come out of the perishing woods and start laying the whole place low.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 03:35 PM

Star Wars a Much Better Analogy

Tolkien's mythology bears little resemblance to the events of the day, and the Lord of the Rings even less so.

However, one can find clear parallels with Star Wars, Episodes 1 through 4.

Dick Cheney is Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious/the Emperor. It is so easy to imagine him deep in his undisclosed location whispering through that evil half-grin; "it is all going as I have foreseen."

Osama Bin laden is Count Dooku. He foments an attack on the republic, only to be secretly working with Darth Sidious. Why haven't we found him? Because he is closeted away with Cheney, "Good news Master, the war has begun." Besides, he kind of looks like Christopher Lee.

Al Gore is Obi-Wan Kenobi. He puts up the good fight only for so long, then goes off to be a hermit in the desert someplace only to return again years later.

John Edwards is Anakin Skywalker. Gore's protégé, but may have secretly undermined the Kerry Campaign. We also have not heard from him much lately, he may have already been turned.

Hillary Clinton as Padame. Of course that would mean that Edwards was having a secret affair with her, but that's not out of the range of possibility.

Bill Clinton, hands down, Mace Windu, the baddest Motherf..ing Jedi ever.

Jimmy Carter as Yoda.

And last, and most definitely least:

Jar Jar Binks. Only one person fills this role of absolute stupidity; George W. Bush.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 03:36 PM

Humpty Dumpty

And those who think we need to invest still more troops and treasure in Iraq to do the job right, just more men and horses, and they can never put it back together again.

In a neat little twist, Bush gets to be Humpty himself in Through the Looking Glass (apologies to Lewis Carroll):

"When I say we don't torture captives," Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 03:39 PM

The Boy Who Cried Wolf?

Perhaps an appropriate analogy could be to Aesop's fable of the boy who cried wolf.

How many times shall we hear that this is a fight for civilization itself, before it rings hollow to all?

How many times shall we hear that we have enemies who are evil, before it rings hollow to all?

How many times shall we hear that dissenters support the enemy, before it rings hollow to all?

How many times shall we hear that Saddam Hussein was the world's greatest menace, before it, too, rings hollow?

And if true threats emerge in Iran or North Korea, how will we know to separate a boy's overzealous cry of danger from a true danger?

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 03:40 PM

Tolkien metaphor

Bush is Grima Wormtongue whispering misinformation into the ear of Theoden (the American populace). He uses the death of Theodred (September 11th 2001) to instill a sense of fear and impending doom so that Theoden is willing to give up all his claims and lands (rights to due process and privacy) for a false sense of security. This ultimately serves the will of Wormtongue's master Saruman (Cheney and his neocon cronies) who plan to completely take all of Rohan for their master Sauron(American Corporations).

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