Letters to the Editor
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Allegory in all it's forms
Tolkien hated allegory, and intended none. Just as he railed against people taking his books as an allegory for WWII, I am certain he would be just as miffed to hear he had been misappropriated for the Neo-Con agenda.
There is no Mordor, not here or in the Middle East.
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A mess
Have you ever seen the ending of "Society?" It's like that only messier and far less sexy.
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umm
Bah humbug
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Close, but...
... I think the current situation in Iraq has more to do with the Harvard Lampoon's famous parody "Bored of the Rings" than the Tolkien epic.
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Suggested gay metaphors for the Iraq Adventure
1. "Toto, we aren't in Kansas anymore."
2. "Last night, I dreamt I went to Manderley again."
3. "I am big. It's the pictures that got small."
4. "Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night."
5. "I can't fly this plane."
Sources: Wizard of Oz, Rebecca, Sunset Boulevard, All About Eve and Airport 75.
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Iraqi people
I'm sure the relatives of all Iraqis who died in the war would love to hear that their loved ones died to protect the US. What else are foreigner good for?
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Charlie Brown, Lucy Van Pelt and THAT FOOTBALL
Let's not overanalyze this, folks.
The PERFECT allegory for the situation in Iraq, right from the first day of the Bush43 presidency, is the annual "Peanuts" event where Lucy entices Charlie Brown into trying ONE MORE TIME to kick that blasted football. Dubya (and his cronies) are Lucy, and this naive, trusting country is Charlie Brown.
Against our better judgment, and relying on equal parts hope, trust and foolishness, we decide to take one more swipe at that darn football, only to have it yanked away once again at the last moment.
As any sane, reality-based person would have predicted, we land on our collective backsides with a "WHAM!" So it has gone, and will continue to go, in Iraq as long as the same discredited Bush43 crowd leads us -- and as long we agree to follow.
Perhaps the only consolation is that our national Charlie Brown is starting to recognize, at long last, our presidential Lucy for what she is -- an incorrigible liar far more adept at talking than doing anything constructive.
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Can The Land Surveyor Save Iraq?
K. brandished his letter from Klamm as if it were a talisman of good fortune. "I am recommended to appear before Klamm in the Green Zone on Saturday to receive my instructions to begin the survey of Republican Iraq! You will be building schools, and hospitals and art galleries, no doubt. I am anxious to begin." He was trying to sound confident, even believed that he was.
K. was dismayed when Amelia laughed at his face: "But you know nothing of Klamm, Land Surveyor!, you do not even know that you as much as the least child of the Green Zone! Could you bear to even hear his voice were you ever so lucky as to be called into his chambers? Just listen to him talk, foolish Land Surveyor!"
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Bush as Boromir
Boromir, a member of the Fellowship, saw himself as the good guy, and couldn't comprehend why nobody else wanted to use the Ring to defeat evil. It held immense power; they had it in their hands; they faced an enemy who was infinitely evil; and they were supposed to refrain from using it just because they would be corrupted by it? Come on!
Bush is similarly blind when it comes to the consequences of using power. We're the good guys, hence nothing we do can be evil.
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Who is Frodo?
Is it Bush, Cheney or Rumsfeld? And maybe even more improtanly who is the Gollum? The metaphor gets incredibly twisted since the motivation for the journey has shifted so many times, but just like Peter Jackson maybe we need to just move on to King Kong, (John McCain).
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Not even bad sense
I think Bush's policies are reminiscent or Saruman's care of the Shire. In the name of freedom he made everyone afraid and removed civil liberties. The names given to policies were the opposite of what was actually implemented. He locked people up without rights or trials for long periods of time -- at first with more obvious cause but increasingly because they defied him. Nature was despoiled at first for commerce and then in ways that "didn't even make bad sense". The travesty of the Bush administration isn't only on a global level, but on the personal level of our everyday lives.
And Dr. Rice makes an excellent Grima Wormtongue -- cowed and unsure of how he became aligned with such an obviously wicked person.
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Casting for central roles
The Santorum version of the Return of the King could include some great casting choices. The obvious ones are Dick Cheney as Sauron and George W. Bush as Golum but could also include Karl Rove as Grima Wormtongue.
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Grima Wormtongue
In Tolkein terms, stretched as they are, George W. Bush would be King Theoden, son of Thengel, the King of Rohan. Cheney would be Grima Wormtongue, turning Theoden away from his family and the advice of his counselors. While the analogy is hardly perfect, we do have to remove Wormtongue (ie impeach Cheney) before we can bring back a good leader to Rohan (by impeaching Bush). Oh, where's Gandalf when we need him? Oh yeah, the Balrog Karl Rove got him...
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Windmills? Clash of Civilizations?
I would almost liken Bush (or anyone else in his hopelessly detached cabal)to Don Quixote...but that would be an insult to the insane old knight.
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Faulkner, definitely Faulkner
"The Sound and the Fury," Part 1-- and guess who Benjy is?
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Bush as Sauron
Okay, this goes beyond the idea that "Bush is evil, Sauron was evil... so..." In fact, Sauron's greatest asset was his ability to pretend to be something other than what he was. He would show up as the good guy (to the Elves, he presented himself as Annatar, "the Lord of Gifts", before he betrayed them), get everyone to like them, then pursue an agenda that was completely contrary to what everyone expected.
I'm sure there was a time when the people of Numenor would have voted Sauron their President. By 51 - 49% vs. Elendil, I'm sure.
Just the same, Bush has mascaraded himself as a populist strongman, which is completely contrary to his being in reality a pampered worthless weakling. Just the same, Bush has promised his people mountains of gold and world domination, but delivered mountains of gold to his corporate handlers and world domination to the terrorists he has promised to destroy.
Sauron's original promise to the people of Middle Earth (who came to worship him) was to restore the glory of the old days, to bring peace, prosperity and order to everyone. Little did they know that he intended to also own them. Little did he know that you cannot own people without destroying them. And you can go further, where the Men who wanted power, the Nine who greedily seized the rings Sauron made for them, lost all power to him and became his slaves. These are the members of Congress who had bowed down to Bush's wishes and are now falling down with him.
If all this sounds eerily similar, that's because Tolkien wasn't making anything up. He wrote about how greatness is corrupted by hubris, narrow-mindedness, greed and folly; the manifestations of this corruption can be found in all of our history. Ramses II, Alexander the Great, Caesar, Borgia, Hitler. And now Bush. This is an old tale.
(I would say Santorum, in this Great Scheme of Things (tm) would be Gollum... except it's not known whether Santorum has ever been a decent quiet hobbit before his descent into darkness. Maybe. Maybe not.)