Letters to the Editor
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We're the mean ones this time
Okay, here's one I've been kicking around for a while. It's more 9/11-related than Iraq-War-related, but we all know that Iraq was behind 9/11, and Mexico caused Pearl Harbor, bla bla bla.
In _How the Grinch Stole Christmas!_, the residents of Whoville wake to discover all their Christmas presents and decorations gone. They fall at once into a great disarray and begin to blame each other over the missing loot. Pandemonium ensues. Several Whos are tortured in an attempt to locate the toys. After many months, the town leaders decree that a large wall be constructed around the town to protect Christmas presents from future theft. This will take many years of continuous effort and nearly all of Whoville's resources, and therefore all the work force's vacation days are suspended for the unspecified duration of the project. Also, all chimneys will be plugged up, as a precaution.
The Grinch, watching all this from atop his mountain, chuckles to himself. He sees that in their mindless panic, the Whos have thoroughly abolished Christmas much more efficiently than he could ever have hoped to.
Casting this synopsis into rhyming couplets will be left as an exercise for the student.