As the wife of a struggling actor, I appreciated this article very much. Birkenhead was candid and humorous, and hadn't let the "biz" poison him (too much!). He does talk about the fact that "home ownership and marriage are pretty fragile things for people who sometimes wonder if they'll ever work again." This is such a true observation. I support my husband's choice of career 100% (and thankfully, I have a great and steady job of my own). But life often feels like a rollercoaster for us, with my husband's career completely at the whim of casting directors who are failed actors/writers/directors themselves. He has a great audition for a really good part, and then we play the waiting game, and then we don't hear anything after 3 days, and then by day 4 or 5, I can see the disappointment on his face. It hurts my heart, even though I know he has better defense mechanisms than I do. We are also not white -- our families are from India --and the racist/stereotypical comments he gets really blow our mind. One casting director told him he's "not Indian enough" and proceeded to cast a very dark skinned, shorter Indian man with thick lips for that same part. The conceptions about race and ethnicity are so narrow, and casting directors are sometimes the most uneducated when it comes to the tremendous diversity out there in the real world. The thing that keeps us going, with all of this, is his passion for the craft, our belief that he can and will succeed, and the support of family and friends. And a sense of humor about all the b.s. that you do experience in this career! We keep ourselves entertained with the foibles of big stars -- people that he's worked with on various tv shows. Which actor wears a tooth whitening retainer in between each and every take? Which actor can't pronounce any names at all? Which actor fumbles medical jargon really badly, and she works on a hospital drama?

I don't know if being a writer will be any easier for Birkenhead, because there's just as much pressure to be productive, to have something ready to talk about and pitch, etc. But I wish him all the best as he tries a new path in his life. And I'm definitely sharing his article with my husband!

You're right. Inadvertant though, I'm a Canadian who has been weaned on Atwood and I should know better.

I was a TV actor for twenty years. Not a big name, but I worked in series and soaps. It was fun, but when I had kids and hit 40, and still had to go on interviews with my hat in my hand to explain to increasingly young producers that in fact, I had been working for 20 years in the medium, I knew it was time to stop. At a certain point, if you're not the guy they're sending offers to, who doesn't have scripts showing up unbidden on his agent's desk...it's just too damn hard. I quit acting for my 40th birthday and started writing. Now, I've been writing for TV for 16 years and I live in a house behind ornate electric gates and my kids go to swanky private schools.

Continuing to "go for the shot" after a certain age is like staying in the NFL after your knees have already started to go bad. You might still have one great season left in you, but it's more likely that you'll push it too far and have a pronounced limp for the rest of your life. There are only so many times in a lifetime that a soul can take that special kind of rejection experienced by a hungry actor who knows he could've done the job if only he'd been given the chance.

Go for the writing, Peter. You've obviously got the "one percent inspiration" part down. If you can produce the requisite perspiration, you'll do great. Good luck.

And I do feel it's the kind of story Salon should print more of. Celebrities are fun, and pretty to peruse, and it's nice to read about how miserable their lives are. (I don't think it is lost on us 'dull normals' that celebrities are there because of uncommon luck and maybe uncommon drive.)

This story is about a man like us, with a profession - and a dream - merged. Well, an artist.

Nicely balanced tone, too. Good writing. But he's a MALE. He might yet find his break out part, in an indy movie - his Sideways.

I was never an actor, but I too have struggled in an artistic field where talent and dedication is not enough, and physical looks and playing the game make more of a difference than technical chops and honest expression. I recently gave it all up, and have been dealing with all kinds of emotional ups and downs in the aftermath. Peter Birkenhead's article has really helped me to understand and put into words why I quit and what I've been going through, and I thank him for sharing his experiences.

Birkenhead nailed it. I also had a less than stellar career back in the late 80's as a commercial actress. When you are the "Return A Face Cream" girl it can't get much lower. It was only a regional muffler commercial that played forever(ka ching!)

in the my home state in the Midwest that convinced my parent's neighbors that I won't show up on a video box with the letter X.

Keep up the interesting first person Live stories. I am tired of all the political bad news that saturates the media these days..

Peter, I hope you write a book. I would buy it. The beauty is that your experiences and insights can be applied universally, regardless of career, and your piece helped me deal with disappointments and blows my ego has suffered in my many years in Corporate America. Please continue writing.

Great letter! I wish you would have more of this kind of thing. How many of us chase a dream till we're way beyond knowing if we'll ever catch it or not. Peter Birkenhead is smart enough to take the blinders off, and see what else the world has to offer.

New York Writer