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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
...or did all the ladies at this year's Oscars wear the same dress, just in different colors? Ho hum...another plunging neckline, cinched-in waist, flowing skirt...nothing terribly outrageous, but nothing wonderfully gorgeous either.
Except for the featured vocalist on...ahem...the winning song. Hey, if you're going to do plunging neckline and flowing skirt, you might as well channel Marilyn, which she did, and fabulously (sans the wind effect!). Because when it comes to classic Hollywood babeliciousness, there's Marilyn, and then there's everyone else. Now and forever!
I should preface this by stating that I write this from north of the border-- the cold, slouching-toward-the-Bible-Right land of Canada. Our film awards are to the Oscars as donuts are to ass implants. Communist donuts, of course.
The Oscars are a fascinating study in American popular culture, but I didn't find the 78th broadcast to be any more self-congratulatory than any other. To be sure, the lauded films discuss tense issues, but do so in a way that is more about appeasing the industry's gluttony and superficial ideology than saving the world. There are bigoted cops? Gay men wear jeans under chaps?
And by the way--we LOVE Jon Stewart here, and while I think he was somewhat constrained by the Academy's mandate, he did manage some well placed jabs. He at times looked as if he was about to bolt for the bar, but who wouldn't when you're facing a roomful of droids who have had their meds hidden?
What I found most interesting is how Dolly Parton remains upright. That, and the fact that if her face was pulled any tighter she'd fart out the back of her head. And yes, I agree with Cintra Wilson. I'd have liked to seen more franken-tits and drunken rage, but that's more to do with the fact that our new Prime Minister is a smarter version of George W and we need *something* to be indignant about up here.
To the above commenter, Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep were doing a bit on Altman's style of overlapping dialogue, where the characters interrupt and talk past each other and repeat each other's phrases. I thought it was pretty funny, and I think the audience was laughing because Tomlin and Streep were obviously having a good time trying to riff off each other.
I'll also say that I despise this trend towards extreme thinness -- it's grotesque. Come on, ladies, not everyone can look like Keira Knightly, so take a cue from Salma Hayek, who is curvy and could not possibly be more beautiful!
Cintra Wilson derides the pomp and circumstance of the Oscars and then drowns herself in... pomp and circumstance. While there's never going to be an Oscars that is truly enlivening and transcendent - much less one that pleases everyone - it truly seems as if Wilson made her decision about the show before it was even broadcast.
Although "Crash" will go down as a debacle of a Best Picture winner, the show itself was one of the best in years. Stewart stumbled out of the gate, and then recovered nicely and was sharp and witty throughout. The presenters had class, the winners had a bounce in their step, and the montages were phenomenal.
It's fair to criticize the Oscars - who doesn't? But if Wilson decides she's going to hate something before it's even on TV, she should at least pick some semi-coherent arguments.
A big Salon fan, but this joke of a tirade was an embarrassment. Where's Heather?
You expect bravery from the Oscars? A marketing event put on by Hollywood to glorify Hollywood? Go watch the movies instead.
Nuff said about you, Cintra.
You're just jealous that you don't get one of the presenter swag gift baskets.
Air kisses to both cheeks,
Another reader fed up with Cintra's moronic and uninspired reviews
Whaddya mean there were no cleavage canyons or nipple peeks or wardrobe malfunctions? First off, every set of pregnant or nursing breasts in the room came close to spilling forth, especially Jennifer Garner's when she slipped on the hem of her dress. Uma Thurman was peeking out up at the podium; Jessica Alba, nearly so. But hello, in the midst of the big shocker of the night, "Crash" director Paul Haggis' wife exposed her ENTIRE right breast as she threw her arms around him and her bodice sagged downwards -- we watched it over on the TiVo. Did you fall asleep before the end, from "boredom," Cintra?
Jon Stewart knew from the outset that the Oscars was not where he belonged, but he did a fantastic job melding his kind of irreverent humor into a milieu where politeness reigns, irreverence is rarely tolerated and everything is too golden and precious to be made fun of. The guy not only knows how to highlight absurdity, but he also knows when to cut back, and his performance did well to show this.
It looks bad when the camera cuts to Joaquin Phoenix being too smug and self-righteous to crack a smile at a joke about himself. I guarantee you more people were laughing in their living rooms.
If you want to talk about what’s wrong with the Oscars, then ask how “Crash,” a film with all the subtlety of a cannonball falling through a windshield, could possibly take Best Picture. There’s your major disappointment for the evening.
I did notice that he was a little uncomfortable up there at the beginning, but later he was making topical references and enjoying himself - laughing and commenting on what had just transpired in the broadcast.
However, to be surprised that the Oscar broadcast isn't the Daily Show is a rather ridiculous response. It wasn't his normal audience, but they definitely warmed to him.
Jon did a great job.
I have to say that for the first time in a long time, I actually enjoyed the Oscars last night. The overwhelming feeling I had was that the entertainment community was issuing a collective protest against the cultural tail waggers and religious moralists who constantly complain that Hollywood is out of touch. George Clooney set the evening's tone in his acceptance speech, admitting to being out of touch--but also said, "but we're right to be, and you're wrong." It was a united front last night. Defensive? Nah. It was, "we're mad as hell and we're not gonna take it anymore!" And about damn time, too.
How refreshing that we didn't have to suffer through an endless parade of bombastic, sugary pop songs sung by Beyonce and Celine Dion. Jon Stewart did an excellent job, his political and cultural references balanced by his venue and the reality that the Oscars play to an international audience.
And as for plunging neckliines: did you see Salma Hayek's dress?
Nope, I normally agree with Salon's reviewers but not this time, not by a long shot.
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
Once seen as a lunatic fringe, reactionary anti-women groups are courting respectability
Salon headlines in your mailbox
