Site Presented By
Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
It's the Oscar's for crying outloud, what were you expecting from Jon Stewart? It's a mainstream ceremony that is viewed on primetime, obviously his material is going to be different from that of his show or from his infamous Crossfire appearance. I thought Stewart did a great job.
When it comes to open rebellion against the Oscar shtick, I say look to la Anniston.
I'm surprised that no one is commenting on Jennifer Aniston's barely concealed anger. Sarcastic eye-rolling met every cliched query, every poke into her private life. I think one red carpet interviewer asked her what it was like to be considered really beautiful. She looked back for a beat, eyebrows slightly raised, exasperated once again. No, I don't want to discuss my private life. Yes, you guys are total idiots. Such collosal disdain deserves notice.
As for freakish cosmetic surgery: Ms. Dolly Parton is your woman. Eyebrows stretched to the middle of her forehead and, lips saturated with collagen... if you go for a few years without a viewing, her other proportions can be counted on to startle as well.
As for scary hair, that's easy: just look a little to Tim Burton's left. Wife Helena Bonham Carter had a toppling bouffant that left her looking like a crack ho.
About a conspicuously plunging neckline, see Felicity Huffman. Some critics thought Jennifer Garner could have used a little more material over her breasts. Perhaps she made the purchase before the pregnancy?
I thought Jon Stewart was fine. Loved the opening number. I was disappointed that I had seen the gay cowboy montage on the Colbert Report. Occasionally his self-deprecating Jewish guy shtick didn't work so well (green guy circumcision), occasionally it did (Schindler's, Munich trilogy). Certainly he's a tremendous improvement over Chris Rock. Cintra's characterization as manic-depressive doesn't ring true. He seemed a little more overwhelmed, perhaps restrained, than usual; but that was to be expected. Apparently one person's normal is another's wildly labile, one person's witty, another's dull.
The Oscars are profoundly oxymoronic. Celebrities acknowledged more for perpetuating the idea of celebrity than for their work. Actors are asked politically (I mean this in the sense of career politics: did you choose this role in order to get an Oscar nomination? asked over and over again---why would anyone admit that this is the case?) and personally charged questions to which they can only respond with simplistic wide-eyed idealistic assertions that it's all about a meaningful performance choice, it's all about the work.
A less grandiose truth is that being phenomenally good-looking has little or nothing to do with ability, and the mechanism that drives this event is crazy consumer fantasy. George Clooney might do good works, but if he didn't have that crazy charisma would it simply wouldn't matter. The answer to that would be a resounding no. Being a celebrity is kind of like holding office; chances are you had to market yourself in some unseemly fashion in order to get the power to do what truly interests you.
My favorite quote about the Oscars comes ALESSANDRA STANLEY of the New York Times:
There is something delicious and embarrassingly decadent about the national obsession with the Oscars — an entire country caught eating raw cookie dough while reading "in Touch."
And, of course the biggest oxymoron of 'em all is that passionate dedicated moviegoers with discriminating palates can't keep away from the cookie dough.
ROTFL @ Cintra Wilson's whining essay. Grow up Cintra. Get a grip Cintra. Jon Stewart rocked and you're just a weasel......pop goes the weasel...you must still be mad at your Mommy for naming you something goofy.
Too bad all five of the nominated movies combined didn't even come close to the box office of The Chronicles of Narnia.
Gee whiz, Cintra, maybe there is something to excellence in morality.
Cuss that, wimp!
Ha ha ha....bunch of LOSERS......!
And the winner is...............the box office $$$$$ Yay for The Chronicles of Narnia....and Mel Gibson's little film....about that awesome Savior....get to know Him, Cintra.....rotfl!
Look out everyone, the Family Values "sheeple" are coming to serve up a heapin' helpin' of CHRISTIAN JUDGMENT (tm)!!!
The box office success of Narnia and The Passion only show that, when told to do so by Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell or Fred Phelps or some other nutjob, fundamentalist Christians will go see CGI drivel and Aramaic-language snuff films. In droves. They'll drink the poison Kool-Aid when they're told as well, as long as the greeter points out the right aisle at their local Super WalMart.
Jeez...!!
By the way-- Cintra's entitled to her snarky opinion. So's everyone else. Crash sucks ass, but so what? The Academy awarded it Best Picture cuz, after all, members are "sheeple" too; Roger Ebert told them it was important, and it said so on the DVD cover! In a couple of years, we'll have forgotten it.
Loved your uncle in JFK. And equally I love the irony in your worship of mammon. America falls at the feet of the golden calf, and you mistake it for blessing. How very sad.
Lynda Oswald writes:
"Too bad all five of the nominated movies combined didn't even come close to the box office of The Chronicles of Narnia."
Well, I did the math, and whaddyaknow, she's right! Chronicles 289M, Oscar nominees 235M.
On the other hand, Chronicles was only third in b.o. in 2005, behind Star Wars III: Revenge of the Shit and Harry Potter and the Something of Something. So your pal Jesus got his ass kicked by Yoda and a bunch of witches. How do ya like them apples?
Right behind them was King Kong, which beat Brokeback Mtn. 270M-79M, proving that, in America, bestiality is at least three times more popular than homosexuality.
Black women are whores who don't belong on the red.
This sounds like an outrageous statement. But this is the message the 78th Annual Academy Awards sent to viewers all over the world on Sunday. Those of us who watch television with a critical eye noticed that black women were curiously absent from virtually all aspects of the Oscar ceremony.
As the camera panned over the audience, I had to squint hard to make out a black female face. I was not surprised that none of the nominees were black women. However, I had expected to see a few black women presenters. Handsome black men (Morgan Freeman, Will Smith, Terrence Howard, Samuel L. Jackson, Jamie Foxx) and glamorous Latina women (Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Alba, Salma Hayek) walked with dignity across the stage. However, Queen Latifah was the lone black female presenter. Yet whatever pride I felt by her presence was quickly obliterated by her outburst of joy when she announced that the rap group Three 6 Mafia won best original song for “It’s Hard Out Here For a Pimp.” Earlier, the group’s performance of this song featured scantily-clad black women gyrating across the stage, acting as prostitutes and whores. Indeed, the Academy censors even approved use of the words “bitche” and “ho,” words that in the public eye have become synonymous with black womanhood. The performance left me heartbroken. It brought me back to a time when the only roles offered to black actresses were prostitutes or mammies. Queen Latifah, herself a gifted actress, has not yet managed to escape this sad duality.
The few black actresses who have managed to rise above the limits Hollywood has placed on them have not been rewarded. This is why I was especially outraged that the biopic montage left out "What's Love Got to Do With It" and "Lady Sings the Blues," two iconic movies about black women that feature incredible performances by two great black actresses. Biopics about black men, including "Malcolm X" and "Ray" were included in the montage as were movies about Latina women, notably "Selena" and "Frida."
After Three 6 Mafia won the Oscar, host Jon Stewart joked, “I think it just got a little easier out here for a pimp.” So the Oscars have given pimps some respect. Who knows? Maybe black women will be next. I wouldn’t bet on it though.
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
219 Democrats and one Republican join in favor of the legislation, which passed by a narrow margin
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
Salon headlines in your mailbox
