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I loved this article. I can't even be that hard and sarcastic. However, you left out a few attacks. First, what the hell was Jennifer Aniston doing there? She does not have the credentials. It must have been a negotiated arrangement from Brad to relieve himself of any guilt of dumping her. She even had to go up alone, because no one wanted to be associated with a TeeeeeVeeeee actress turned bad film actress.
Second, doesn't Best Film award usually go to the film that also won Best Director? The fact that it did not happen this year proves how political the whole process is. No group looked more shocked about getting Best Film, than the group from Crash. Sure, it was a good film, but what was the take away - that there is racism in America - tell us something we don't know.
Next, I hated The Constant Gardener. It should have been a documentary on the Discovery Channel. I did not think that Michelle Williams would get Best Supporting Actress, because I know how Hollywood thinks ("She's too young, too unseasoned, has not provided us with enough sweat, it does not matter if her perfomance was the "best", you gotta earn it, not deserve it"). Heath and Jake did not get it for the same reasoning, but why the hell did they have to give it to Rachel Weisz in The Constant Gardener, because she has done 20 films instead of 5???
Last, I can forgive Jon Stewart, because I know that he was being controlled, instead of being himself. The ultimate boredom came from the actors themselves, most who seemed to be going through the routine and bored with the whole ceremony itself.