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Monday, March 6, 2006 12:00 AM

Oscar castrates himself

The Academy celebrates niceness, bleeps out "bitch" and pats itself on the back for good behavior. And what did they do to poor Jon Stewart?
By Cintra Wilson

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  • Monday, March 6, 2006 10:05 AM

    Checklist

    1. "Glad I don't pay for this." Check.

    2. "Snarky is funny when you're twelve but not when you're a lot older." Check.

    3. "Lack of references to the text itself makes me wonder whether you have actually read Beowulf, Fred. Did you write this essay before doing the assigned reading? Rather than doing the assigned reading? In any case, this paper earns a zero for failing to meet minimum standards for sophomore lit. F-." Check.

    4. Change references to Beowulf to Oscar, Fred to Cintra, etc. Whoops--gotta do.

    —jds

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