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What upsets me about the discussion about "Crash" vs. "Brokeback Mountain" is that people on either side discuss the movies as if they "matter" because they believe the opinions of the Academy or box office receipts reveal Americans "true" feelings about gays or minorities. Some criticisms, from an LA Times critic in particular, have said basically well Hollywood is more comfortable supporting a movie about race than homosexuality. That may or may not be true, but Hollywood's support in either case does not have the impact that he or others might suggest.
By and large, people of color and LBGT persons are targets of discrimination, and will continue to be, and no Hollywood movie has the capacity to change that. "Crash" and "Brokeback Mountain" may give you warm and fuzzy feelings about gay love or race, but in the end very few of us are engaged in any direct action that will change the treatment of LGBT persons or persons of color. Heck, very few of us have deep and meaningful relationships with people who do not look, live, believe, or earn the same income as we do.
The only thing that Americans emulate from Hollywood is its excess. Hollywood's liberlism is a facade, it is decidely more libertine than liberal, and is just as self-righteous and "out of touch" as the leaders of the religious right. Hollywood and the entertainment industry are primarily about profit and narcissism. In the past few years there have been several movies that have dealt with complex social issues, and few have had a broad impact (which is different from appeal) or have produced lasting social change. I am sure that we could argue which movies would fall into the change category, but largely that would be based upon personal opinion, not a quantifiable reality. Let me assure you that no persecuted minority group or person is now living in the "land of milk and honey" because their story was told in a movie.
So, take a deep breath and relax. Your movie won or lost, get over it, and if you have not done so already do something that actually will improve the life of another person.