Brad Pitt dumped jennifer aniston for a much hotter, socially conscious woman that actually will be able to be great in bed and have intelligent conversation with and who feels that her world doesn't begin and end in hollywood.

so what was the recurring part she was turned down for? janis?! anyone know?

Oh but they will be, as soon my friends in ELF and ALF get together on Spear Street and [CENSORED]

-- Rob Anderson

One merry band of your pixies and puppets in the NJ area are going to jail, where they belong. Many of the rest are being monitored in a way the vast majority of Americans would agree was legal and for an appropriate reason--because these jerks are just thugs and bullies who harass, destroy private property, and even kill in the name of their pointless little points. So, Bobby, now you wish to threaten people who dare hold a point of view different from yours about faux celebrities and starf**ker wannabes? How very noble of you. Perhaps this is why so very few--and so very twisted--are the only ones to become elfs and alfs. Get a fucking clue.

Fuck you, you fucking morons. Hollyweird is so yesterday's news. I mean, HOLY SHIT BIRDS, BATMAN! This miserable piece of excrement actually got published in Salon!! Who gives a fuck about Hollywood celebrities?

half the world?

FUCK you!! I don't give a shit, and the world revolves around me. Why should I care about Jennifer Aniston's tits??

because they give hard-ons to dweebs surfing celebrinudie sites?

I don't care about dweebs who surf celebrinudie sites! And OH GOD has Salon gone down hill. Is every editor drunk? Should they change the name to "Saloon"??!!

salon is read by millions, and nobody is reading you

Oh but they will be, as soon my friends in ELF and ALF get together on Spear Street and [CENSORED]

Puh-leeze, we only have this woman's word that the tabloids were "hounding" her for dirt on Jennifer. What did she do, go around wearing a T-shirt saying "Jennifer Aniston used to be my roomate" then refuse offers to talk about it? She was so noble, right?

She was trying to establish her career and didn't want to go to the tabloids for fear doing so would backfire.

Yup. She "held on" all right. She jealously guarded that little nugget to her bosom with her gnarled little miserly hand.

And she knew just when to use it. Jennifer is vulnerable right now, she needs favorable public opinion to deal with the fallout from her divorce.

Nothing like an opportunist -- and you can bet she's still guarding nuggets with all her other "friends", which is why I reiterate -- Cintra, watch your back.

Every couple of months or so I see some article referencing someone called "Jen Aniston" in Salon, and recently read that posting anything concerning this person was a big draw for your readership. It's snowing out today, and I've nothing better to do, so I decided to drop in and see what the stink was about.

What the fuck?

This is some kind of irony thing, right?

Oh. My.

Never mind....

ahansen

I'm glad I'm not the absolute only one who considers this piece to be comedic. It's just satire. Really uninteresting satire, but satire nonetheless. Look no further than the photo at the top of the article. Cintra and her pals just look like some stupid "Upright Citizens Brigade" style performance art group, whose "work" revolves around them living their dreams of the easy life of famous-for-being-famousness by "critiquing" it. That whole "Jane being smarter than Mamet" bit was kind of funny, though.

Wait...or am I the dupe here? All those righteous, earnest letters, were they just part of the same meta-piece? I hate the post-modern.

Just look at that photo of Cintra and her phony puffy-lipped friends and you get an idea of the level of vacuity at the heart of this article and what is happening to Salon. I mean, another piece on Jennifer Aniston You have to be shitting me.

And I am not talking about the people who liked the aryticle, but the countless people who took time writing about how much it sucks.

Get a damn life

The so-called "chicken cutlets" (and now that I think about it, that's a rather apt name for them) don't go in front of the entire breast, nestling between the breast and the bra, like those old-fashioned foam rubber things that we may remember our moms wearing in the 1950s-60s; instead, they nestle UNDER the breasts, giving the same effect as a foam-rubber "push-up pad," but with a more-natural breast-like bouncy movement and consistency (since they're made of silicone).

Think of them more as "breast shelves" instead of "breast covers", and you'll have an accurate mental picture.

And, as for "perky nipples," I understand that it's no longer necessary to use the old "icing" trick. I didn't happen to see the "Sex and the City" episode in which these devices were discussed and modeled, but I understand that there are stick-on pastie-type thingies that give their wearer a very noticeable "nipple hard-on" appearance.

How can the casting director see your ice-cubed nipples when you have chicken cutlets in your bra?

Amazingly, a few hours prior to reading this piece, a student was interviewing me for a class about bullying. We got into a discussion of verbal bullying and jockeying for status among girls in middle school...then we agreed that it still went on in high school...and college...and then she said "Does it still go on in the workplace?" Looks like the answer is yes, even in high-profile workplaces (maybe especially in high-profile workplaces). Pretty depressing!

Assuming fashionista is right (and why wouldn't she be, it makes sense to me)and "chicken cutlets" are actually cleavage-enhancing bra pads, it's pretty disingenuous for Ms. Balbirer to use that as an example of "shit" she was uncomfortable with. Is it honestly that big a deal to pump up the cleavage a little? Sure hope my school doesn't fire me for my attire at the Christmas party two years ago.