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Thursday, December 22, 2005 12:00 AM

The real war on Christmas

It's actually being waged by Bill O'Reilly and other right-wingers. I should know: It almost ruined my family's holiday dinner.

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  • Friday, December 23, 2005 11:04 AM

    Your family too, huh?

    Amazing. Will Wheaton's talking about my Dad here too, formerly a pro-union, sheet metal worker, Humphrey Democrat. But Bill O'Reilly and the rest of the Fox News team are about to ruin my Christmas too. Every night, my Dad is on and on about the transportation strike in New York. He's practically frothing at the mouth--'The Mayor or the Governor should fire them, like Reagan did!' Reagan?!?!? I want to scream. The same Ronald Reagan who you thought ought to be impeached over Iran/Contra? Since when have you EVER been on the side of management?

    In the interest of peace and harmony, I watched Fox News with him, for One Solid Hour. I'd never actually watched an entire broadcast before. Unfreakingbelievable. So when I gently (I promise, gently) pointed out that real journalists don't actually feel it necessary to remind you every five minutes that they're being fair and balanced, he looked at me pityingly and said 'you've really bought into the liberal media line, haven't you.'

    My twenty four year old son actually talked him into watching five minutes of the Colbert Report. He squirmed and snorted and growled, and then told us that if that was supposed to be funny, he didn't get it. But he got it.

    I don't know where all this came from, but I think it has a lot to do with Clinton. I think the idea of discussing blowjobs on national TV unhinged him. But I really don't know how to handle this. Christmas is in two days, and they're not leaving for three days after that. And I honestly am afraid that my father and my son are going to come to blows.

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