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Wednesday, November 2, 2005 12:00 AM

Laguna biatch

How a real-life mean girl has become TV's most improbable teen role model.

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Tuesday, November 1, 2005 09:53 PM

Second, or third, or fifth...

...To wonder, first, why I started reading it, and second, why I read to the end, and third, why I am now commenting on it.

Basically, to make sure I'm getting this, we're instructed to admire her for her most likely unconscious "perspective," despite the fact that she's a turbo bitch? Should I hope that my own daughter, roughly Kristin's age, is able to shit on everyone around her and celebrate her personal cruelty, but, hey, not sweat the small stuff?

Sounds, uh, great.

Wednesday, November 2, 2005 05:34 AM

lauren's triumph is my defeat

i watch "laguna beach," and other reality programming, with curious obsession in order to confirm that there are people vain and shallow enough to offer themselves on television as sacrificial lambs in the dim hope of achieving celebrity. they allow themselves to be caricatured, and so, when bad things happen to them, i howl with mean-spirited laughter at these caricatures. real people, my ass; once you're on mtv, you become a character and i have power over you. (pretty fucked up, huh?)

which is why i find lauren so frustrating. i mean, you're absolutely right, she seems to be the strongest person on the show, entirely in control of her identity. i can roll my eyes when i hear that godawful accent, but it just doesn't take the place of a backbreaking guffaw brought by the the tearful, alcohol-induced breakups that i've come to hate and love simulatenously. really shows confirm my disappointment in humanity--curse you, lauren, for denying me satisfaction!

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