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Saturday, June 16, 2007 12:00 AM

Why do gyms play such crappy music?

Monotonous techno monopolizes the sound system at my local gym. Is it really the best music for working out?

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  • Saturday, June 16, 2007 01:24 AM

    Stop whinin' -- start believin'!

    Call me crazy, but I don't think anyone who just this week wrote a Clarence Darrow-epic defense of whiny, grating little Steve Perry and Journey should be calling the kettle black about anyone else's "crappy music." Were it up to me, I'd make you work out to a loop tape of "Don't Stop Believin'" and "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'" forever. And if you complained any further, I'd throw in "The One That You Love" by Air Supply for good measure.

    That said, the fitness room at my office these days doesn't have a CD deck, so I time it so that I'm doing the treadmill and elliptical when "Jeopardy" is on. But here's a very quick short list (25) that will light a fire under you if you're alive:

    "Jump Into the Fire" -- Harry Nilsson (Anonymous was dead-on about that one)

    "She Sells Sanctuary" -- The Cult

    "I Fought the Law" -- The Bobby Fuller Four (or The Clash, take your pick)

    "Higgle-Dy Piggle-Dy" -- The Monks

    "Kick Out the Jams" -- MC5

    "Baby What's Wrong" -- The Cynics

    "Til the End of the Day" -- The Kinks

    "I'm Tellin' You Girl" -- The Lyres

    "Bama Lama Bama Loo" -- The Swingin' Neckbreakers

    "10-5-60" -- The Long Ryders

    "Theme From 'The Vindicators'" -- The Fleshtones

    "Age of Consent" -- New Order

    "Tour de France" -- Kraftwerk

    "Hong Kong Gardens" -- Siouxsie & the Banshees

    "Shoot You Down" -- APB

    "Sock It to Me, Baby" -- Mitch Ryder & the Detroit Wheels

    "Lip Service" -- Elvis Costello

    "Baby Hit and Run" -- The Contours

    "Heat Wave" -- Martha & the Vandellas

    "Can I Get a Witness" -- Marvin Gaye

    "Gettin' Ready for Love" -- Martha & the Vandellas

    "Town Called Malice" -- The Jam

    "In the City" -- The Jam

    "Police on My Back" -- The Clash

    "Let's Go" -- The Reducers (Connecticut's best band since 1978, not to be confused with the Reducers SF)

    If that baby workout doesn't turn you into a limp dishrag, check for a pulse ...

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