I remember two things about my senior prom: ending the damn thing dancing with Sara to Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" bleeding through the sub-hXc quality sound system (still a fond memory), and getting gang-humped by three jock dudes during the Beastie Boys' "Brass Monkey". Actually, I remember three things, if it really was I who smuggled out a plateful of chocolate-covered strawberries via my tux coat. Old Milwaukee: the best friend never to sign your yearbook.

But you've forgotten some staples:

"My Sharona" - The Knack

"Livin' on a Prayer" - Bon Jovi

"Every Rose Has Its Thorn" - Poison

"Like a Virgin"/"Material Girl" - Madonna

"Footloose" - Kenny Loggins

"Billie Jean" - Michael Jackson

"I Love Rock 'n Roll" - Joan Jett

"Endless Love" - Lionel Richie/Diana Ross or Mariah Carey/Luther Vandross

"Stayin' Alive" - Bee Gees

"End of the Road" - Boyz II Men

"Baby Got Back" - Sir Mix-A-Lot

"I Will Always Love You" - Whitney Houston

"You're the One That I Want" - Grease

And then there are those clearly beyond my Prom days (I'm 27), but every college bar/young person's wedding I've unfortunately found myself in post-college somehow manages to squeeze them in:

"My Immortal" - Evanescence

"Hollaback Girl" - Gwen Stefani

"Hit Me Baby One More Time" - Britney Spears

Fountains of Wayne's "Prom Theme!" This is a cheat because I was long out of high school when I first heard this song, but it made me remember prom night with such vivid colors and sounds and smells, it almost made me cry.

Maybe it could be Best Song for Nostalgic and Self Deprecating Prom Night Reminiscing.

...but should:

Jesus Built My Hotrod by Ministry.

I guarantee that prom would be a disappointment to no one. =D

Almost nothing was more important to me than music in high school. I didn't attend my high school prom for the very reason you mentioned in this article. "Thinking gets in the way of a good time." If I shared this sentiment at all in high school, it would be referring to my love of pot and alcohol, certainly not brainless music. The prom offered none of the former (except maybe in the parking lot) and plenty of the later.

I wanted to party where the Beatles, Springsteen, and Dylan lovers of the world went while everyone else was pimply-cheek to overly-made-up-cheek dancing to "My Heart Will Go On."

Was our graduation song. I made some serious lists, man, shit that I figured would appeal to a decent swath of my peers. We ended up with Green Day, so fuck my efforts, but still. Maybe it was all location, but I liked my high school and (generally) harbored nothing but goodwill for my Clint Black-blasting, Sugar Ray-pumping classmates. I've long had a perverse affection for my social betters... if Ice Cube made 'em happy, well damnit, "You Can Do It". As if playing the Adverts would've meant jack shit to my friends... that's what wedding receptions are for.

we tried to get r.e.m.'s it's the end of the world as we know it as our prom theme but alas, it lost to wonderful tonight, which sucks.

"Lady in Red" - assuming, of course, that the girl is indeed wearing some shade of crimson and not black or teal.

"The Way You Look Tonight" - preferably the Lettermen version.

"Celebration" - of course

Some "ethnic" stuff if the school is heavily populated by one specific demographic. (Love them polkas!) If not, the "Chicken Dance"

Björk and Arcade Fire may be awesome, but they're just too idiosyncratic for true prom success.

C'mon...Throw a bone to the weirdos. After all, their best years are still to come. Like the athletic fans from Michigan Tech University used to yell where they were losing,

"That's alright! That's ok! You're gonna work for me someday!"

I remember looking around at my Senior Prom in 1989 and thinking, "Huge hair and metallic pastels are attractive to these people...eeeesh! And they say I dress weird." Couldn't wait to get out of there and be one of the cool people at college!

Their early stuff was designed, after all, to be danced to by the crowds at the Cavern Club and the Hamburg hangouts. So the 1964 hits fit in well as part of an "oldies medley" at proms & weddings

The Romantic Prom, or the Drunken Prom?

The prom theme for a "Romantic Prom" must be a slow dance. Whatever the most successful slow dance of the past year has been usually makes a winning entry. Think Chicago's "Color My World" slow.

For a Drunken Prom, the theme must encourage fast movement that can eventually make you puke. This is necessary to prevent alcohol poisoning. "Let's Get Retarded" by the Black Eyed Peas is the sort of thing that you're looking for - party music that actually refers to partying.

The faculty and/or School Board have the ultimate veto power over a prom theme, so there's no way an un-PC word like that will get printed on posters and photo backdrops. I can remember a school in my town trying to do an Old South theme party entitled "Mint Julep" - until the powers-that-be wisely said no.

Maybe it's my advanced age, but I can (and do!) actually sing along to Arcade Fire, so I think either Wake Up or Rebellion (Lies) from Funeral would make excellent prom song choices!

We also had 'It's the end of the world as we know it' on our list of potential prom songs in 1990. Unfortunately, it lost the vote to billy joel's 'This is the time to remember'. That song still makes me gag a little bit.