...for the inevitable item in Esquire Magazine's "Dubious Achievements of 2007" list?

...when Rashaan Roland Kirk suggested that he'd like his ashes mixed up in a big bag of hash, and that his friends smoke him up when he died. He died in '77. Not sure if his wishes were carried out (though a recording of him talking about it was saved on one of his CDs).

In my mind, it's actually a kind of romantic and appealing farewell.

"Say something outrageous as only an aging, crazy, addled rocker can and watch the money men run for the hills. Brilliant."

Sounds right to me. OF course, every time his name comes up in my household, someone asks if anybody has seen Keith Richards in the daylight in decades. Dude does a good Lestat, if you will.

He is a far more brilliant guitarist that that dude dissing him. At his age, people still pay attention. That says it all.

Of course he's a sick puppy. On the other hand, he didn't abuse people or puppies.

I had a friend who smoked his brother. Rolled some of the ashes up in a doobie with some premium weed. He said he did it to honor his brother. So, really, I don't see what the big deal is with Keith. How is it any more inhuman than filling the corpse full of chemicals, surrounding it with flowers and watching it for a couple days before sticking it into a concrete-lined vault where it will moulder away and never do anyone any good? Ashes, at least, could make a garden grow. Or get Keith high. Whatever.

My late father was recently dumped into the Missouri River.

Yeah, it was his ashes, showered from a small plane, as per his very instructions. You can do that with ashes, in our culture, but you definitely cannot do that with an unincinerated corpse. There are truly distinct differences between the two forms of remains, in how we regard them, handle them, and dispose of them.

"Say something outrageous as only an aging, crazy, addled rocker can and watch the money men run for the hills. Brilliant."

Hey, I said he was inhuman, and what he did was monstrous.

But I didn't say he was Ann Coulter. That'd be going too far.

I can't believe that you would give a never-heard-of guy, "Barry?", the undeserved respect of linking to his pathetic 'blog' so he can spew his "Keith, please die" bullshit. That's disgusting, as far as the blog and its inhumane sentiments go, and it's extremely disappointing to see any writer at Salon giving credence to such juvenile bullshit.

Keith Richards is a funny guy. Yes, funny ha ha, and a bit funny 'weird', no doubt. I've spoken with him on several occasions (in NYC outside his old place, at a border crossing between NY/Quebec–we were both getting the old once-over-twice, and out in SF a few decades ago). And I can say this with full support, I am certain, from others who've interviewed him: "He has a particularly dense method of chatting, and is known to be sarcastic and funny in the most contrarian, English manner."

Period. And despite what a sociopathic ultra-minority of kids might say, Keith is a fellow who has 'been there' and lived to not only tell about it, but to, quietly, in his own time and way, caution impressionable youngsters not to emulate the excesses that he is a practical Logo for.

And, on top of that, he is an absolutely fabulous guitarist. What Keith Richards may or may not lack in terms of 'straight talking dead serious' banter, he more than makes up for in his chosen pursuit.

Here's an extract of the statement from Keith:

"Richards, 63, says "the complete story is lost in translation" and has offered a different recollection.

"The truth of the matter is that I planted a sturdy English oak. I took the lid off the box of ashes and he is now growing oak trees and would love me for it. I was trying to say how tight Bert and I were. That tight!"

He added: "I wouldn't take cocaine at this point in my life unless I wished to commit suicide.""

And I'll close with an easy one for you there, Mr. Writer: What ever happened to research?

You're welcome,

Brian Stegner

P.S. And Keith, if, God forbid, you see any of this 'drop dead' bullshit, blow it off man, and just live fucking forever, okay?. We love you out here in the real world.

Keith Richards drops a little story about snorting dear old Dad and the world goes nuts. His PR people try to contain the damage. Disney freaks. Didn't the Disney suits get it when Johnny Depp did Captain Jack Sparrow as a sanitized version of Keith Richards? Disney drops Keith from all promotional work for the movie.

Keith Richards is a genius. Don't want to do boring promo work (answering stupid ET questions) for your cameo in some silly Disney flick? Check has already cleared? Say something outrageous as only an aging, crazy, addled rocker can and watch the money men run for the hills. Brilliant.

This idea was used on "The West Wing." President Bartlett is scheduled to debate his opponent in a few days; only one network is televising it. He zings his opponent in an "oh-was-the-mike-live?" moment on a morning news show and the staff spends 3 days trying to say it was a mistake. All the networks show up for the debate and the ratings are through the roof. Bartlett creams the guy in the debate. Turns out ol' Jed planned it that way.

It was a good zing, too. "He's a 22-caliber in a 45-caliber world."

Nice work, Keith.

Face it, dude - your friend's mother was fucking him.

It's a cosmic crime that he thrives while Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis and John Lennon have all departed. But for fuck's sake, it's KEITH FUCKING RICHARDS. I wouldn't be shocked if he claimed to have snorted his own mother's vagina.