It is gray, rough and dark and has stumps instead of limbs. It does not wave greenly in the breeze, dancing with the butterflies ,but daily sinks and crumbles when you touch it.Yet it provides life to many,home to bugs, beehives and important fungi in its cycle.Your grandfather is touching you and making you think about the most important things in life.

Go see your grandfather and while you're there, lightly rub his feet and head , sing to him and wheel him outside to see the sky. Consider providing him with music that he loves.You might ask his doctor for anti anxiety pills or hire an acupunturist or reiki practictioner to visit him for some energy work . Hospitals are terrifying places and fear is contagious.Address your own fear and that alone will increase his peace.

Google Emotional Freedom Technique - they have pressure point protocols that arrest pain and anxiety almost immediately. I have used them as a nurse when pain medicine did nothing for a patient, with amazing results.

Not long ago I was bit by a dog while riding my bike in Austin the skin was broken tho' it did not require stitches I called Animal Control and reported it.Someone came out to take the report and wanted ID . Unfortunately that day I had forgotten and left my purse in my work locker. Therefore they refused to follow up.Would they have responded differently if I had blonde hair and/or blue eyes? I think so.

The message was -we don't care if you get rabies.

if you're not ready to hear it.

Advice is like tossing a coin heads or tails... but when you get the side you don't want your mind is instantly clarified.

And the truth is it doesn't really matter if yo take the head or the tail- but commit to one and see it through. If it doesn't work,now you know.

it won't come from outer circumstances.

Because you have made a move in the direction of teaching you may as well attempt to follow through just so you can determine if indeed it is the profession you enjoy doing..Its often difficult to get a job in cities,( lots of competition)- sometimes you have to get experience in a more out of the way place- a rural area, a private school, a reservation ( a lot of times you can get any loans forgiven in the process.) The fact that you just broke up with your boyfriend may make it a little easier for you to make such a move.You might try going and talking to different principals at schools too -

I've found that touching base with the person who will be directly hiring you is more effective than handing in an anonymous resume.

Be kind to yourself during these rough times. as long as you keep getting up whenever you get knocked down, you are winning.

there's not much you can do- except be available when she decides to leave him or vice versa.In the meantime see her perhaps on a weekend night when you do drink a little and keep your weekday nights to yourself. Communicate by phone during the week but just because you've been friends a long time is no guarantee change won't occur...look for nourishment elsewhere- her judgement is impaired and she'll never 'get"where you've gone.

Your dad is not capable of making correct choices or performing competently under the influence of alcohol, possibly mixed with prescription drugs. He needs to be reported to the state licensing board - this can be done anonymously. As a person who has lived off the proceeds of patients for years and with the knowlege you are privy to, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to protect them ASAP.You think you feel bad now , wait til he kills or maims someone - how do you think you will feel knowing you could have prevented it?You're apt to lose your whole inheritence as well in the suit that follows , in case that is what is staying your hand.

Usually doctors boards protect their own, your dad will be contacted by another physician who has been an addict,who will help him through it. And your dad being a surgeon and used to being treated like a god is not apt to listen to anyone less than another doctor.

Later you can deal with everyones feelings via AA or whatever.- right now you need to save lives!

Every theory and legend in the world depicts humann and animal mothers as courageous and superhumanely heroic when it comes to protecting their children. Yes there are the rare exceptions and Diane Schuler is one of them. Obviously she didn't care for anyone but herself.

I would not be initiating such a conversation with my children.

Prepare a response if your son should ask you outright

(i.e.' some people smoke herb instead of using alcohol or pharmaceuticals to relax")but you need to be clear in your own mind what is your take on the subject. It seems that you don't feel comfortable with your husbands habit and you should take it up with him before you use your son's welfare to manipulate the situation

you'll share in her inheritance as well as your own , so whats the problem.?Perhaps you are inventing things to worry about because she is so perfect.

Although you write of your disapproval, its couched in terms of appreciating "the worth of a dollar" and not of helping others less well off or any other kind of altruism.I can only conclude then, that altruism and empathy do not motivate you- pinching pennies does. In such a case and considering the fact that she will not be dependant upon you ( so why listen to your complaints?)you'd probably be much better off hooking up with some one of your own outlook.