I 'm blown away by the generosity of Cary and the readers to a person who is anything but "on top of a game" - usually people here seems so demanding of perfection - kind of like the BF or the woman who wrote in earlier this week.Refreshing to think actions don't have to be "going anywhere" to perform them.

But Cary's comments on the burden of "visibilty' of being a woman seems so insightful and worthy of much deeper thought and discussion. As a woman I never realized how much a part of my life it has been to justify my existence.LauraBB's antithesis seemed interesting as well.What makes us become invisible to ourselves ?

Any comments or recommendations for reading on this subject would be greatly appreciated.

and becoming a gardner who grows roots where she is.Everyday when you go out you will see surprising new growth and sometimes even things you didn't plant. You will have to tuck your garden away for winter and weed and prune but you will the

mother/father to many living beings who look to you for nourishment.Maybe then you will understand the days when you really don't feel like watering or weeding and how tiresome it can be to never get a vacation and forgive the men who decided they weren't up to the 24 hour task that you presented them with.

Maybe too you will develop the ability to read the weather, expect the seasons and plan ahead so that you can grow the things you're interested in having,which may change year to year but will be many times more interesting than the subsistence diet of potatoes you are confining yourself to now.

Because you are ruining him.

You are giving him the idea that he doesn't have to do anything to be in a relationship but be available for sex. He doesn't have to hold up his half of the financial end or , seek to improve his skills in order to contribute or even tell the truth.He doesn't have to ponder how to communicate his feelings of love, frustration and anger, consider his ability to commit for the long term or make plans for the future.He may think he's got it made, ,but when he finds himself a decade behind his peers at 28 because he's been gaming he's going to feel too far behind to catch up and become become too despairing to even try to jump in the game of life and become a man.

Great advice from Cary and Mattie as far as what you may be hiding from your own self.take a look.

you seem to have inherited the lifestyle preferences you grew up with if you are working and have a 100,000 dollar student loan debt for an undergrad degree.! This suggests to me you don't have a clue about what it takes to make money OR pay it back.Did you really think this day would never come?Only a lawywers dagtr could think like that.

If you want to continue living in the style to which you have become accustomed you may have to become a lawyer.Do you really have any idea what it is like for most children of non lawyers - it is not living the night life, it is living for overtime in order to supplement the crappy pay most people make.

Maybe you should see a vocational counselor,take some aptitude tests and reconsider what you want to do in graduate school but please don't take out any more loans , especially if you go for a degree that is not law or medicine.

I think there are internment camps now.This is not a new idea.

People stay high all day on very expensive drugs while people with guns who are straight make money for themselves and prison investors bu intimidating them.

Unfortunatly in the internemnt camp idea mentioned,alcoholics will also be included which will ensure quite a bit of violence, macho posturing, falling down and blackouts.Yeah the same guys who are your corporate bosses now. :(

Maybe separate wings?

Today 's high school & college kids are sharing their legally prescribed drugs(which Is illegal) stimulants,anti anxiety and pain pills etc. Sixty percent of scientests are obtaining uppers to "enhance" their cognitive skills.Steroids are all but approved for sports.

Just don't use drugs for pleasure, which is anathema in this country !

As long as the profits are going to pharmaceutical investors and the use is to ramp up production skills,there has been no "war" declared on the white elites illegal use of drugs

Think about it -when is the last time you heard of a Ritalin bust?

Rape children, laugh at your marriage vows, rip off the public, live a life of crass hypocrisy and then thank Jesus . After all he already died for your sins, so you're covered .

I never quite understood their insistence on values as the final voter decison, especially when people voted against their own economic interest.

Its always been about THE FAMILY's values .Its all perfectly clear now