they have been captured and brainwashed . They do not own their own thoughts, they are mere automatons for an evil conspiracy to deprive the world of air, light, friendship and kindness... in other words to keep the human spirit bound in fear in order to control them. Treat them gently as you would any insane person - do not discuss their delusions and plant your interaction with them in firm material reality, - ( washing the car , buying the groceries,birthday arrangements and cooking the food).Love the shell of them that has not been plundered by the same ideology that they beset on you with the End Times images. But do not go THERE with them,the chest tightening you feel, they avoid by unquestioning obedience and knee jerk reflexes.

Basically they have been lobotomized

Congratulations on weathering grad school and motherhood. You must be an extraodinary person. Unfortunately your condescending put down in the last sentence of your letter of a woman who did not make your choice, negates the insight you showed earlier on in your exposition.

None of us knows the shoes another walks in. This is precisely why CHOICES exist.Abortion is not always a choice against a child,sometimes it is a choice for a woman's own sanity, independence and autonomy. Sometimes it is a choice for providing the best parenting possible.Sometimes it is just desperation when one considers ones abilities to confront the lack of support available(financial,emotional,physical).Because you are evidently made of sturdy stuff does not give you the right to judge others whose full circumstances you don't know.

Research has shown 73% of women abort for financial reasons. If the Right truly wished to decrease abortion they would push for a child/mother friendly platform - instead of investing so much time in judging others so they can increase their self righteousness.

Human cunning and intent will always find a way.

Can't abort because your reason is wrong? That's easy - lie.

Can't abort because its too late- self induced abortions that threaten the mother's life and perhaps bring a horribly damaged viable child into the world.

Then you need to consider the penalty for breaking the new restrictions.Imprison the doctor or the woman or both,possibly leaving their children orphans. Prisons full of mothers and increased need for orphanegs is an answer?

Its improbable that we can outlaw abortion in any form - if prostitution is the oldest profession, then providing abortions has to be the second oldest.

What we can do is drastically cut the rate thru education, cheap and available contraception and a generous social net for children/mothers.

When 73% of women state they abort due to finnacial reasons both anti choice and prochoice must turn away from these endless discussions and work hard to make it possible for women to consider keeping their child because they are not facing a socially Darwinian world alone.Context is everything when raising a child.A future of deprivation and struggle does not encourage family life, precisely because many women are concerned about their offspring, not because they hate life.

you write-"But he's a 35-year-old Ph.D. and is looking to settle down in Seattle." In other words he's not settled yet and has ties in Atlanta.There are universities all over the place and academics frequently travel to do research , return and do the analysis at home.The new job market for academics is coming up in Sept.If he's as interested as you are let him put his resumes in your area.

if he doesn't ,you've got an answer - time to move on.

....your rep, your karma and your self image.Get over yourself!

Spend some time blessing those you feel you've hurt( unbeknownst to them)and sending thoughts of prosperity,happiness and fulfillment their way.Do good in the world and be tolerant and loving with others who act as you used to. Who knows, perhaps some asshole can be impacted enough to change his ways and the world will be better off for it. Surely that will affect us all for the better, including those you may have offended.

In fact given the Pitocin, the overcowding, the understaffing and the fact that the doctor doesn't arrive in time and has made clear only he must 'catch" the chilld there are many times when a woman gives a birth alone IN the hospital.

And there are times when being in a hospital causes damage to the child or mother through transfusion or drug reactions, too much O2 , and just plain mismanagement or negligence. Then there arethe times when the baby is given to the wrong mother upon exit . Far fetched you say? add them up and I am sure hospital negligence many times outnumbers the harm done by those few women who decide to birth totally solo.

Lets give up the illusion that American healthcare guarantees perfect outcomes , shall we?