nevertheless you need to separate from him financially now while you have nothing.That way in the future he will have no claim on your earnings or assets , should you rebuild your life.Be frank about why you are doing it. I suggest you get a divorce NOW and continue living together , After all you see yourselves as a family and it seems he provides you with satisfactory companionship and your child with a father, or you would have left him long ago.

Since you are hurtling towards the abyss - I suggest you buy a van and a tent, a Coleman stove and a large water container, in case you are unable to find a job . That way you , your husband and child will have somewhere to safely sleep. If you are reduced to living in your car,it will be helpful to have a male in the picture for protection and childcare.

It would be nice if he finds a job but at the very minimum he needs to call in some favors for all this free work he has done

for something that will improve your family's situation. A job for you? a low rent place? a building to crash in, in bad weather in exchange for securing the place.A reliable address to receive mail,Have him work his contacts - its payback time.

Lets see that creativity in action.

"It's a kind of ideological window dressing for a social and economic system based on the ruthless exploitation of human beings and natural resources,"

never have I heard a truer description of Christianity. And it is not just now - these Christians have been using their philosophy of "love" to kill, maim, rape and steal land and resources for centuries especially from people s who lived without an idea of sin.

Perhaps they are not "true" Christians - but does it really matter , given their legacy to the world?

I mean maybe Chernobyl was a beautiful garden at one point in time - but now Chernobyl has a totally different connotation.

Eagleton shoud not be blaming Dawkins and Hitchens for their ignorance of Christianity , there job is not to defend it,instead he should be pointing his finger

AT SEVERAL CENTURIES of CHRISTIAN LEADERS for defiling it!

after all , perhaps you know your parents came to America so they could work hard to send money back home for you and your grandma's survival.Maybe they worked so many hours that they realized they would have no time for you and that you would be better off with your grandmother. In fact for all we know, coming to America was their stake in your future.

If there is any possibility that these reasons enter into your eventual arrival here,you may need to to deal with more issues than just declaring your independence. Yes,you feel abandoned but also you may feel guilty, grateful or ungrateful, as well as disappointed that life in America is not all that it was held up to be. Perhaps the America you came for was not to replicate life in the old country, while what your parents are hoping for is to replicate the old country in a more stable situation.

If any of the above is true I think you may need to see a therapist or talk to other immigrants to sort out these cross purposes and conflicting emotions. You went without parents for far too long - don't throw them away now.You all need each other , whether you live together or not.

...and I never wanted you.

Why didn't she at least put him up for adoption so he could be

passionately cared for by someone who wants to be a mother?

as well as the boredom , rage, , gratitude , irritation and occasional moments of unconditional gratitude that make it up. The very unknowableness of another human is staggering

Contemplate water from the faucet and your luck to have it- its fluidity and formlessness, how it comes from distant places and from inside the earth and travels to your glass with the help of thousands of human hands.

Contemplate something as small as a honeybee that is of irreplaceable importance in the life of every being on this planet.

Discounting sleep, in one year there 49,920 minutes that you can choose to contemplate. Contemplation does not require sitting still with your hands folded - it requires your commitment to awareness to reality and your willingness to set "your version" aside for a bit.

Going to a retreat now and then may be able to jumpstart your journey and expose you to fellow travelers who can bolster your desire , but it is the daily moments of you practicing awareness that create a contemplative life.

to make our own pain less noticeable.Maybe thats why so many people are drawn to alcoholics - alcohol being one of the latches that lets the dark fly in its full regalia without feel obligated to apologize

I was fascinated by Cary's answer but wonder what it is that the dark side wants. Perhaps just to be recognized- our society flees anything that hints of melancholy and so I think many of us fear that to go there would be to enter an unending ,unfathomable place . Maybe all we need is to listen to sad music, read or write poetry or just take some time off from "faking it".

I remember hearing a discussion about the difference between American and Russian romance . The Russian woman said ,in America women say " I love him because he makes me laugh" but in Russia they say "I love him because we can be sad together"

from whatever church she belongs to for being a liar, a hypocrite,a temptress and thinking she can improve on her God's handiwork.