You refer to this woman in derogatory terms several times , the two of you don't seem to be vibrating at the the same speed as evidenced by her 10 mile/hour speed vs your desired 60 mile/hr speed on your snow mobile, (let me guess-she's just learning but her learning curve is too slow for you) You characterize spending time with her as " babysitting". You feel that not splitting the gas is high crime,yet you've never just asked for the money.

The fact that you don't seem to lack for money for expensive gadgets and outings make your demand that she pay for the repair of your phone that she ACCIDENTLY damaged the clincher.

If it was truly financially difficult for you to replace this phone you would have put ceased loaning it to her long ago , except for an emergencies.

It also begs the very question if the rest of us should even consider socializing with the well off, whose cherishing of expensive playthings overrides any other kind of value.

Face it, you have been using this woman to be your accessory to social events so you look like you have a friend.

LW - you have taken an extremely passive view of your life.You seem to think there is a "something" in you that "makes" you do these things.

You think if you know what the "what"is,you can change yourself by flipping the switch.But there is no such switch. Character development requires a history of making hard choices over and over.

You are stuck in patterns that you have embedded into your consciousness by repeating bad choices , probably with the complicity of your social network. Your pattern seems to be a pendulum of punishment and release.You are forced to seek the release to escape your own harsh judgements and then again you need to break your own self hatred through release ad infinitum.

What if you just stopped.Stopped condemning yourself and overanalyzing your every action. That every time you began to say to yourself "what a worthless piece of shit I am " you changed that litany to ,say ,reciting a poem you know.Or learn through meditation to sit through the discomfort of those voices, which will then lose their power over you.

What if you took jazz dance lessons (or paragliding)so that when you have a vehicle for release. Maybe you will make new friends too. Build up a resevoir of experiences of release in your mind and body, that will not hurt someone else (and ultimately you.)If you do not schedule in your need for thrills and are working the 40- 60 hr /wk treadmill you are setting yourself up for failure.

Then there are just some obvious tricks.For example I have no impulse control for sweets, so I never bring them home and only eat them in public places with other people around.A period of withdrawal is probably important.What if you don't go drinking or shopping for 3 months and do other things you might enjoy,maybe with your friends.If they refuse anything but drinking and shopping, they are part of the problem and you need new friends.

Decreasing your exposure to your triggers is important, especially as you "kick" them. If you can get through these artificial parameters you will have stopped the pendulum long enough so that you can buy yourself time to consciously act in your own best interest.

workers are just rusting

parts

maybe they could be used to provide the hearts

of overfed CEO's

Workers - their only worth is the calcuim in their bones

the iron in their blood and

the interest on their loans

Obama lives in fear

of bankers who eye his wife and kids

How long will it be before their leers

turn to commands to

"send them over here.

we need them to work in the Big House."

Like he did Chelsea Clinton.? Or were you too busy using his cool credit card to care?

and relentless indoctrination of little children with fear of God , accompanied by physical punishment "for your own good" by their parents, and the issue of Christianity as a literal Biblical translation would wither and die.

Sure, some seeking more meaning might drift into the soft Christianity of "Live as jesus modeled" , but the terror of breaking the rules would have no grip.And without that deeply embedded ,unconscious fear of being constantly watched and judged , not to mention having the shit whipped out of you , wheres the motivation to cling to the knees of some Big Daddy to save you from the punishment of hell for all eternity?

its easy to understand why the kids did it. And celebrity of any kind is valued by kids today . And when your mom has an Oxycontin jones you might need the pocket change

But was the Governor just too busy at church that day driving out witches and purifying the land , or could just care less about the trivial activities of her household, considering that

she 's been called to enlisting armies of spirtual warriors to kill those of us who don't agree with her literal understanding of God's mandate?

that"Regular users lose all motivation and evolve towards the vegi world. I've seen several very bright, creative guys turn into boring, stale turnips."

I thought was it was just working in dead end government jobs that did that to people.

almost as if the speaker could have cared less about remarrying.

Far from being controlling she sounds absolutely indifferent.

But then he didn't sound that into family life either.Is this the just the Lake Woebegan effect, stoic Lutherans and all?

I can definitely understand why there are so many bachelor farmers then.