it would be fascinating. And make sure mom gets to write half. I doubt if being in threesomes was their initial attraction to each other,the way you you demand it be for the women you meet... it probably evolved.And was it really for their ENTIRE 60 years of married life? Puhleeze- you ARE idolizing.Talk to them , get the real deal,they're bohemians -so I imagine they would be open to sharing their insight.

The very idea of having something so specifically tailored to your wants and desires seems pretty uptight and not that bohemian.Quite the opposite -it sounds very controlling.

The fact that something was rewarding and enjoyable doesn't necessarily mean its something we must demand be repeated ad infinitum- let go and be open to what relationships bring.

It sounds like you have been more fortunate than most men in this regard,though perhaps you are still trying to measure up to daddy.

Good luck with the polyamory thing-but remember amor means LOVE.

it must have been heartbreaking.

the truth is with parents working so hard to get over its hard to know exactly what is going on in our childrens lives, they share what they want us to know.They are learning so much more from each other about how to survive in this culture than from us- our culture is evolving faster than adults can master it.

The desire to learn about reality is one of the strongest forces in humnan nature,impossible to quell.

Now its time to come down to earth. This is your first serious relationship and you've been continents apart for YEARS? Excuse me - thats not a serious relationship - thats a pen pal.

Of course he'll fall in love right off the bat if he has "sows his oats - the guy must be starved for human contact.

Time to go get wet IN THE WATER , not write a thesis about wetness.Either live together soon or give it up and get yourself a more fulfilling virtual relationship on Second Life.

you say" My teenage brother and I are both addicted to weed and jobless, and I suffer from a recurring depression."

You need to pull yourself up and contribute to your family. Even if you don't have a job yet - you are capable of improvng your mom's life by bringing some intelligence and light into the house. Start exercising daily , running, biking ,or ?. it will get you out of the house and may help lift your depression . If not consider seeing a medical professional or counselor. Also your brother will be left on his own and possibly smoking won't be so inviting alone. You do realize he's following your lead, just as are followng your dads?

Do what you can around the house to help your mom and consider going to school for something if you can't get a job. You can get a Pell grant for community college and learn a trade , if you're not interested in a 4 yr degree. You will meet other people and be exposed to new things. Nothing will make your mom happier than to see that her hard work has produced kids who are productive and independent.

Perhaps your mom won't have to work so much if you guys start contributing or at least not sponging off of her.And you won't hate yourself the same way you loathe your dad.

DON"T BE HIM- be you

Don't answer your phone while doing other things and the same with email. Do what you can. Take your WHOLE lunch somewhere else and leave at five. Take 2 fifteen minute breaks in addition to lunch - its the law.You will be behaving sanely and the the spillover will force your boss to hire some help or lose business.

You go getters make the rest of us look bad and then you whine about how overwhelmed you are. You set your standard - don't blame the boss.

And when you have a kid - don't start with that perfect mother crap either -

Liberal women and men severely prune their childbearing hence fewer of them . Republicans maximize theirs.

The bigest indicator of someones political proclivities is their parents.I don't see a Democratic

takover lasting very long given these kind of numbers coming out of the Evangelical movement.

....but also how many mothers look the other way because they are relieved to not have to have another pregnacy, are just too damned tired,can see no financial alternatives to leave or have been brainwashed into believing that the father is working out of god's plan.The Mormons have one of the highest rates of incest in the nation.

Having that many children is basically a way of building your own prison.And most prisoners after a while prefer their cell as freedom is just too scary.

Many of our clients were functional working citizens. It was not at all unusual for them to cut down on their methadone for 4 day holidays or a week so as to to enjoy heroin for a few days a few times a year. if we take morality out of the question there is no reason drug use and tax paying can'tgo together After all how many working stiffs are addicted to prescription drugs , cigarettes, alcohol gambling etc.

i think we continually confuse addiction with the mentally ill or chronically poor which adds a whole another layer of judgement that makes it impossible to address the multiple issues .

There are in fact several problems parading as "addiction"

physical addiction vs dependence

poverty

racism

unemployment

mental illness

hopelessness

lack of medical care

I'm not sure how we seperate these issues for research but unless we do we will continue to associate the use of drugs with a lot of undesireable factors that seem related but may not be