Most mothers of infants are still somewhat in shock at the ways their lives have changed after becoming a parent.I had a friend who said it was only when her children were around ten that she came to realize in a deep way they weren't going away.And she was a great mom.

After all, you have had years of self centered practice and only a matter of months of putting someone whose needs are changing on a weekly basis, before your own needs.So be forgiving of your anger and resentment which are inevitible in motherhood,if you are kind to yourself you will be able to extend kindness to your child. Take a child development and parenting class - they will help you see not all mothers "have it together" either

As for the dad, the fact that you are not married means to me that he really is not interested in doing "the family thing". Let him go so he can get attend to his own issues without blaming the two of you , and move back to the town where you are more likely to find support. Don't even think of finding a partner at this time- you are still undergoing big life changes.

Try and stabilize your living situation and keep going to a therapist to discuss the many conflicted messages you are giving yourself--- I think there is a cohesive message in there that will honor both your own needs and that of your child.

Trying to take care of someone who is also angry and resentful and has PTSD ( and doesn't care to address it)is just too much for a new mother and child.

Wish your partner well and let him take the lead in how much he wants to say in touch but don't cower to his wounds, over the needs of you and your child.

but you seem to have some extreme fluctuations in mood,and motivation. Of course you are burned out, you have been driving at 110 miles an hour. Is it just surging hormones or could there be some real wacky brain chemistry going on? It might be worth while checking out or at least visiting a counselor to talk about your vocational goals,perhaps at the same time they could get a feel for your inner tempo,and if its driving you or you're driving it.

Yes, thats true , but there are probably ninety year old's who are as innocent as eight year olds about sex. Shall we change of consent to 25?

If Mckenzie was too immature to tell her father to back off, was she really able to agree to marry a man the day after she betrayed her husband with him?

If she was befuddled with drugs,couldn't the same be said of her father, who had an equal history of incapacitation with them.?

What John did was wrong, but I don't see an excuse for a nineteen to twenty seven year old McKenzie , who had ample resources to seek therapy or just not show up to meet her dad.. The fact that the two of them made a hideous mistake, gives her no right to accuse him, only once he's gone or to make money off the mistake she fully participated in.

But in America it seems the slimier you are, the higher you are propelled .

you hand him a pair of scissors and ask him to cut it off.You could sew a little pocket on the thigh to store them.

Call me cynical but would you be writing this letter if your ex hadn't threatened to tell any woman you're involved with? I have a feeling the answer is no or you would already shared your relationship problems.

I've always wondered why a person can get 4-5 years in jail for physical assault from say , a fight in a bar, but beating up a female partner gets counseling or'anger management 'classes."This is a miscarriage of justice.

You made no mention of the things that trigger your violence - jealousy, alcohol, sex,control over your wife's daily activities or finances. But just because you've gone to a therapist with your wife does not mean you are now "cured" of your habit of dealing with difficult aspects of your life with uncontrollable violence.

You need to be supervised,in this relationship for the first few years , should it last that long, and your GF needs to be involved in that therapy/supervision, though perhaps not necessarily on a weekly basis. Perhaps after being in it for a few weeks you can invite her and tell her there... she will obviously need some support at the time of telling to feel safe to react honestly.And it is up to her to decide if she wants to take a chance on getting beat up in her relationship- not your decision to withold the fact that a she is gambling.

LW - I hope Cary's answer will allow you to step back . Your brother is not you, not your mother or your father. He has to make his own way.Please make yourselves available for him at this sensitive time, don't make his quest into an escape from a prison camp.Offer him food,smiles, companionship ( movies , music , hikes) but other than that the best way you can help him is to get out of his way.

You need to question your own ability to love him unconditionally -and work towards doing so.