Shortly after I arrived in Miami - I got into a bit of a fix and decided it best I should vacate where i was staying pronto .I got a cab , dragged my large suitcase and asked the driver to get me to a reasonable priced hotel or motel. ( I had just arrived there with no car and no connections)..

He dropped me off at a motel and took ff. The motel room , covered in mirrors and red velvet velvet , and arconditioned to about 45 degrees . There were no blanklets betwen the sheet and fancy bedspread. And yes it was by the hour.All night doors slammed open and shut.

The kicker was when I went to the ofice in the morning, I asked directions to the only place I'd been given as a potential place to find help - a church. They must have thought I'd repented.

Evidently you've just been looking in the wrong places in Florida.

And tying yourself to a person you don't like or have any interest in understanding would make you old before your time, guarantee you years of self loathing and possibly finish off the destruction of this child who has already been severely handicapped by neglect.

I suggest the father admit that he's clueless and unwilling to learn and give the nanny a yearly sum to bring her up.At least she cares for her.He can see his child a few times a year to maintain some semblance of famly ties.

She sounds like a child that has been raised by wolves. No wonder she escapes to fantasy novels.

Please be advised this man is incapable of truly knowing how to care for someone.

Get away or you will end up reading a fantasy novel a day to survive emotionally.

You only miss feeling superior to your lost boyfriend, you don't actually miss him ,and you dont really trust the second , with good reason

You're twenty five years old . There a lot more interstng things to do than overanalyze your own motives.. Open the wndow and take a deep breath. Thats the smell of freedom.

Don't even consider settling down with one person for at least three years- enjoy your life and the multitude of men out there as well as the blessed solitude.

It was kinda painful reading your letter, I thank you for framing the uneasy feeling that has always haunted me day and night. I feel like I was cursed with the question what is the point of all this?. But I think it was more painful when you are young because it takes so long to shed the idea of the cultural expectations we've been fed of the perfect familyl and friends. and face that truly we are all in this alone, even though we may travel for a while with others..- .

I guess many of us could have written this letter and its wonderful there is someone like Cary who really does get it, because it would be so much lonelier to not be able to say it. Imagine if we tried to write such a thing to Ann Landers!.

And meditation is exactly the place to ponder such a question. For me it has meant sanity and a meeting with like minds.The Sun magazine is another great resource for getting a real glimpse of what kind of things real people feel when they're not having to pretend.

Have you ever considered checking out the magazine ( its online as well) called Intentional Communities.? There are groups of individuals all over the country ,perhaps like us, who have banded together out of everything from religion to vegetarionism to frugality or love of the Southwest because they just can't fit into the football game or nightclub crowd,And they need people to contribute to their vison , if you don't have your own.

It may be interesting to check a few out and see what you think. You may find what you're looking for or you may be so relieved to not be part of a groupthink that your solitary quest will look wonderful."

Just a suggestion and to you and others writing on this issue with recognition "hello" and thanks for letting me feel part of some group for a change.

not the Shambhala Sun which is somewhat slick but does addresss the basic question of the LW because thats essentially what Buddhism is about , but there may be too much jargon for a non Buddhist.

but the SUN magazine which is folks writing about their lives for other folks.and NO advertisements. Which is probably why it's not well known

There are meth heads , zen mountaineers, grandmothers, retired execiutives,the homeless... they've lived life and reflect on their journey and what great journeys they are!. It is everything that Better Homes and Garden or Maxim is not. Each time I read it I am astounded and tenderized by the many ways life can be lived in our world and also that noody ever has addressed it so broadly, except maybe someone like Studs Terkel.

Its a true hidden gem in American writing and in its individual portrayals of life. Check it out

http://www.thesunmagazine.org/