no matter what the the situation.

Words such as leftist, socialist, communist, atheist, Mudville, unionized, uneducated,labor, terrorist, welfare queens, foreigner, undeserving poor,unwashed,, class warfare, and unemployed, homeless.

They have the labels to prove they are right - words such as Christian,capitalist, free market advocate, well dressed,neo-liberal or conservative., patriot, defender of private property, middle class,Ivy League graduate, moral majority, expert in the field, the mainstream,

Thats all it takes - they no longer need to to make reasoned arguments , the MSM and the cultural elites defined the game & set the dialogue.

Its like the joke about the prisoner who arrives in jail and hears his cellmate yell out "17!" ,followed by hilarous laughter from the other inmates. He watches this go on for a few days , then asks his cellmate what's so funny abut a number.. He tells him its a joke. That since they all know all the jokes by now the just yell out the number of the joke.One day he tries it , yelling out "17!"

No one laughs. When he asks his roomate why,his roommate shrugs - "Its all in the way you tell it."

This is basically the level of political discourse we have in this country. There does not seem to be any real listening , just reflex response.

freelance writing. also drinking

a debaucherous mess,

felt incredibly important --

more friends,

more experiences,

so much fun,

debaucherous husband

off drugs and drinking,

a complete financial breakdown,

real job,real corporation ,real money.

I'm stuck

and are you Elizabeth Taylor.? Because it all sounds very familair. Quit groveling, your body is your own. Continue to be friendly to your brother. but quit bringing it up in this hysterical manner, you guys seem to be stuck.

You do need to own up to your part in it to yourself. I mean ;

" I had been deliberately flirting with him,One drunk night we had sex . Myy brother OVERHEARD it ." There seems to be some deliberate intent on your part there to prove something to your brother.

Knowing that the younger sibling almost always idolizes the older ,I can't help but wonder if you weren't getting off on having two guys in your power.Too bad one was someone you actually love and may have wounded deeply somehow.

You might offer to see a counselor together for a few sessions, to see if you all can move towards an aimacable peace. Your 'gift" to him is that you foot the bill.

I think that you made AKA's 's point very well .( that the brother is slut shaming the sister), She very directly addressed the prevailing double standard which punishes women for sexual behavior that men are allowed and even encouraged to perform

Your reply : "The sister is a slut by all definitions "and cited this reference to prove it ,

"The accepted denotative meaning is a sexually promiscuous woman[3] or "a woman of a low or loose character; a bold or impudent girl; a hussy, jade."

Many posters commented n the probability that the roomate probably improved his status by scoring with the sister , which dishonored the brother.

When written references are used to justify limiting womens freedom to act just as freely and wantonly as men it shows a person who would rather continue and reenforce outdated discrimination than to actually think for himself about what is fair.

It doesn't bother you that the definitons you gave apply to women only ? have we settled on a word for slutty men, such as a roommate who does his roommates sister and then probably brags about it. to him?

was he just "sowing his wild oats", a boy being a boy , master of his domain,a real he- man or a subject of envy and admiration from other men?

Obviously you condone the double standard in which women are denigrated for the same behavior men are lauded.

Thanks Neal , for appreciating womens right to enjoy their lives in the same ways men do in 2008 , a freedom that has the potential to improve the lives of both sexes.

Patriarchy is not about men hurting women - it is just as equally about a system that damages men.It is about men being denied their abilities to feel and express their full range of emotions , because to do so would be unmanly.It is men being taught to shame other men in order to make themselves feel superior. It is being taught that acting violent , aggressive and competitive is what constitutes maleness. Men strive in many ways in order to avoid being called a "pussy", the most dreaded word a man could be labeled.

It is about men's lives being used as collateral damge for other mens fantasies of empire.It is men becoming stunted cash cows because other avenues of worthiness are closed to them.It is about a system that has convinced us to believe we are so different from each other that we require vastly different social rules to govern our gender roles.. It is a hierarchial system in which the Father,starting with God the father and then his chosen representatives on down the line are afforded the authority to determine the use for which other lives can be used.Sexuality , backed up by coercive and outright force has been put to the use of governance

It seems that you yourself are a victim of patriarchy because although you seem to be intelligent and articulate you have been driven mad by the inequites of the system we live in. And truthfully we are living in an insane world. You have picked one facet of it to rail against,but there is a whole forest behind the trees you are flinging yourself against with such rage.