"here's a general societal trend that makes women feel guilty for wanting a husband and kids, like they're selling out. We're supposed to have these brilliant, high-powered or splendidly creative jobs that satisfy us completely. Yet the vast majority of women DO want a family. Yet they feel like they have to act cool to avoid scaring guys off, and then they wonder why the men are only sleeping with them"

So true !

I think men are also s'posed to act cool lke they don't want a family and that bein cool involves multiple relationships and the need to demonstrate that they are not "pussywhipped" by being in a mutually satisfying relationship,. To be cool they they need to demonstarted their dominance over such needs.

Not much of an evolutionary leap forward is it? At this rate the species should wither out in no time.

You say it so much better in so many ways than many of us can.I appreciate you informing me of so many things I know viserally but can't articulate and probably wouldn't have the guts too even if I could. I love that you remain coherent amongst so much madness. Madness that is horrifying in its implications for misogynism, and attempts to justify aggression against their sisters, daughters and mothers, because thats who women are.The twisted ways some men see women and seek a forum to spread their contempt is absolutel staggering.Reading their letters is truly disturbing.

... to be more attractive to the opposite sex.Unfortunately who will be get close enough to smell ? Reading these blogs and the men who write against women in ways that conceal so little aggression and contempt just confirms what many women have felt but could never put their finger on and confirms their choice of cats for companions. The fact that few men here refute the extremists confirms that given a choice most men wil join the mob and not try and

stop other men intent on destruction.

... to be more attractive to the opposite sex.Unfortunately who will be get close enough to smell ? Reading these blogs and the men who write against women in ways that conceal so little aggression and contempt just confirms what many women have felt but could never put their finger on and confirms their choice of cats for companions. The fact that few men here refute the extremists confirms that given a choice most men wil join the mob and not try and

stop other men intent on destruction.

You need one . You need to define for yourself what your values are and live up to them . If your values ( that is a well considered consideration of what you think is most important to you ) are to live in the moment, loving the one you're with - so be it - live that way and don't burden yourself with fake guilt and ambivalence.If there is no downside to this way of life for you ,obviously there is no inner directive to initiate change. Think of the kind of persons you most admire when exploring your values.

If you want to practice a different ethic , however ,think about what it kind of qualities you respect and practice the actions that create those qualities when repeated over and over again.When you fail , don't waste your time berating yourself - instead apply yourself. immediately.Perhaps a therapist can help you explore what is important to you and help you fulfill your commitment to yourself.

If there is no downside to this way of life obviously there is no inner direction to change, but it sounds like you are starting to experience discomfort.But perhaps you are just noticing that you live differently than the norm .Its ok to live differently than the norm . Don't try to imitate something you don't feel.

When you begin to experience pain perhaps you will be motivated to change , until then you are just playing head trips in a narcissistic way.

Shaving before surgery shows that it INCREASES bacteria and chance for infection as little nicks occur in the skin where bacteria can lodge.Many hospitals nowadays just paint with iodine or a similiar antibacterial. This has been the case for at least ten years.

I wonder if this could mean a higher probabilty of HIV transmission in someone recently shaved when with someone not wearing a condom at every stage of the game.

There's only forward now. Your demons may be the only close company you will have for a while. Get to know them in their many guises - not just at midnight when they look especially freakish. They are there to help you become whole- ask them what they want - they are parts of you who need air and light .

It will be up to your wife and children to seek you out when they are able to. Until then learn to love all parts of yourself. You may be surprised to find that after a while the past is too small to fit back into.

...you had a financial breakdown . You have a relationship and a job you love . How much do you want? You can't just keep cramming stuff into your life..Give yourself a break, Do this job for awhile, get on top of things and put money aside.You may do so well that you decide to go whole hog into it. Or it may be come crystal clear that this is not the path for you .

But quit demanding that you be so many things at once and relax and enjoy the space that provides. Don't compare yourself to others.... they'll have their dry spells too. When you quit demanding performance out of yourself from every hour you might be able to actually look at the world around you , which is actually very interesting. Interest in the world sparks creatvity, As you said even nonstop fun can be boring.So can nonstop production.Cultivate balance.