you say" My teenage brother and I are both addicted to weed and jobless, and I suffer from a recurring depression."

You need to pull yourself up and contribute to your family. Even if you don't have a job yet - you are capable of improvng your mom's life by bringing some intelligence and light into the house. Start exercising daily , running, biking ,or ?. it will get you out of the house and may help lift your depression . If not consider seeing a medical professional or counselor. Also your brother will be left on his own and possibly smoking won't be so inviting alone. You do realize he's following your lead, just as are followng your dads?

Do what you can around the house to help your mom and consider going to school for something if you can't get a job. You can get a Pell grant for community college and learn a trade , if you're not interested in a 4 yr degree. You will meet other people and be exposed to new things. Nothing will make your mom happier than to see that her hard work has produced kids who are productive and independent.

Perhaps your mom won't have to work so much if you guys start contributing or at least not sponging off of her.And you won't hate yourself the same way you loathe your dad.

DON"T BE HIM- be you

Now its time to come down to earth. This is your first serious relationship and you've been continents apart for YEARS? Excuse me - thats not a serious relationship - thats a pen pal.

Of course he'll fall in love right off the bat if he has "sows his oats - the guy must be starved for human contact.

Time to go get wet IN THE WATER , not write a thesis about wetness.Either live together soon or give it up and get yourself a more fulfilling virtual relationship on Second Life.

it must have been heartbreaking.

the truth is with parents working so hard to get over its hard to know exactly what is going on in our childrens lives, they share what they want us to know.They are learning so much more from each other about how to survive in this culture than from us- our culture is evolving faster than adults can master it.

The desire to learn about reality is one of the strongest forces in humnan nature,impossible to quell.

it would be fascinating. And make sure mom gets to write half. I doubt if being in threesomes was their initial attraction to each other,the way you you demand it be for the women you meet... it probably evolved.And was it really for their ENTIRE 60 years of married life? Puhleeze- you ARE idolizing.Talk to them , get the real deal,they're bohemians -so I imagine they would be open to sharing their insight.

The very idea of having something so specifically tailored to your wants and desires seems pretty uptight and not that bohemian.Quite the opposite -it sounds very controlling.

The fact that something was rewarding and enjoyable doesn't necessarily mean its something we must demand be repeated ad infinitum- let go and be open to what relationships bring.

It sounds like you have been more fortunate than most men in this regard,though perhaps you are still trying to measure up to daddy.

Good luck with the polyamory thing-but remember amor means LOVE.

and the power structure in their hands( hence the new laws) - but by the time the election came around - hell, there wasn't much of it left to keep. .

They looked at the sorry carcass and said "Nah, its not worth the bother"

I've always wondered what happens next ... its a briliant idea and I think you will pull it off wonderfully. Maybe you need to have a caveat to future letter writers for a follow-up in 3 months as part of your ( our?) advice

it reminds me a little of "Can This Marriage be Saved ? that used to run in Ladies Home Journal, which used to be one of my favorite glimpses into the neurosis that is America.

a crucial part of teaching your neighbor is to also extend an invitaion now and then at a appropriate time like , dinner at 6 now and then , Sunday breakfast once a month etc.

Perhaps you can tell him "we're trying to get to bed earlier no more housecalls after 8. But your husband has to be firm. if he doesn't want to admit he goes to bed at 10;30 he can always say " dude I 've got some work I've got to finish up, "

That way the neighbor also gets the message that BEING INVITED is part of the deal and who knows , maybe he'll invite you up someday. If that ever happens you can pat yourselves on the back for having socialized him.

it can legalize pot.With Obama's election and the fall of capitalism I now believe anything is possible. Before I thought such things would not be possible for at least three more incarnations.

As long as we're accelerating through time,when are we getting jet packs?

I say "Lead the way, California!'

not too crude and nasty - just sensationalized soap operas.