Cindy Mccain married a man who was married at the time with children.She financially supports candidates based on "family values" She continues to support a man who cares nothing for women as evinced by his refusal to address the contraceptive needs of women and his remark that the"mother's health" is not important.. She is independently wealthy and could make such a difference in the world, instead she chooses to live off her fathers ill gotten gains to promote another gambler, possibly with out country's future.

As a Republican who wishes to force her values on others , be it denying them reproductive choice or ensuring tougher drug laws while she evades them, her private life is important in the way it highlights the hypocrisy of the Republican Party, which has always been :

DO AS WE SAY , NOT AS WE DO

Its not that the LW opted to go for the gusto, he decided to get drunk and puke all over everybody else while others picked up the tab TWICE.

How funky are your friends- after all , they never said anything - thay can't be that funky.... or was it cuz you paid for the drugs?

" In Abilene, people would be happy to give you a ride if you needed one. "

Unfortunately if you're black, gay or Indian that ride may be one you wished you'd never taken , it may be your last.

Sounds like their is a huge civil rights violation going on here !

Its more likely two kids are making you insane than your spouse's smoking. Two babies in three years is enough to make anyone look around for fall guys .. Since you've given up nicotine yourself , it sounds like you've become some born- again type ( christian , alcoholic, or married person) that won't quit trying to convert people, to your lifestyle, spending lots of time dwelling on the wonderful sordid details of the sinful past you left behind ,the lurid agonies of hell to come if they continue on the path you used to tread and the heaven you deserve that doesn't really seem all that enticing.

Make sure you get some time for you away from the kids and home . Maybe your husbands imperfections won't loom so large when you introduce a little fun of some sort into your own life.

Please don't tell your kids they don't have a daddy because he smoked two cigarettes a day.

It seems pretty evident that only truth can get you out. You must make a vow to yourself to STOP LYING. Not loudly , not in your face , but just drop the masquerade. Plenty of married people are unhappy in their straight marriages , why is this really any different. ? Plenty of married couples are still together because they can't afford to get divorced... you and your wife are no different. Tell her you want a divorce and get a room somwhere. For her to find a job after 13 years of not working is actually going to be the hardest part- much harder than the rest. Work on your shared debt and health issues. Consider bankruptcy.Your children won't be interested in your private life immediately , they are teenagers.So you see them on weekends , watch movies and eat pizza together. If you ever get a BF down the road you can tell them with a counselor's help.

it won't be easy , but then neither is living a lie.

Unless you're going to end up living in NY or S.F. which are actually international cities that exist at an accelerated pace., its not really worth it for two years. You'll be leaving about the time you finally start to make some real friends. Also a mom with a baby needs relationships with people who can nourish her. It can be very draining dealing with a child all day. Better you stay in Europe, make a bunch of money and come for a vacation for a few weeks, maybe without your wife , if she's not interested.

In reverse...but it still applies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWknx3jVnpo&feature=related

case I ever had, by far, was the 19 year old son of a doctor who had been able to have his son given some kind of growth hormone ( this was early 90's , not sure of source at that time, a primate I think) because he was too short as a child. More than a decade later the boy had a form of Creutchfeld Jacobs disease ( mad cow) and was not expected to live after a slow deterioration. This boy was going to school in my town - his parents lived in L.A.

.Sometimes we are just too smart for our own good.

After all, who can resist a littlle girl? As long as she remains an abstraction to these boys they will hate her and you for splitting their fathers love., money, attention. These kind of vendettas in a family can last over decades and she has done nothing to deserve it. However if you moved in with him again or you all found a bigger place ( it sounds like money is not the issue)- not only would they learn to love her they would see a side of you ( maternal and warm ,hopefully) that has been withheld.

In addition their father would be available to ALL his children and who knows perhaps you may get occasional babysitting help. Perhaps you could rent a studio where you go for long afternoons or make one in the house you share... sleep there when you want. Work with a family therapist to help you thru it. You have the possibility for a real family here , the boys will soon be gone but your daughter has a chance for siblings and perhaps future cousins and maybe even her children will benefit.

I think you should seriously consider it. It would only be for a few years but is an investment for the long haul for a family that may last beyond your lifetime.