Letters to the Editor
Rowyna
Published Letters: 105 Editor's Choice: 36
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cary gets it wrong again
[Read the article: An elderly salesman terrorized me in front of my kids!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Cary says in his response that parents don't teach their kids to avoid conflict, and I can't help but disagree. Parents quite often teach their DAUGHTERS to avoid conflict at all costs, and to be fearful.
What do they always tell daughters? Run away, get help, you're weaker, he might have a gun, he might kill you if you resist, he might rape you, try and talk to him to disfuse the situation... etc etc.
It isn't as easy for a woman on her own, trying to protect her kids, to tell a scary creepy old man to f-off as it might be for a 30 year old white guy with no kids around. We all know what she SHOULD have done, but in frightening, stressful situations, we often try to take the conservative route over the confrontational one. This is something women are taught to do all the time by all parts of society. Why is it that women have to take classes to learn how to defend themselves from rape and abuse? Becuase women are often the targets, and often when they DO try and stand up for themselves, their attacker just gets angrier - he doesn't get scared, or think twice about attacking them.
So yeah, all the people calling this lady an imbicile are no better than the right wing nut jobs who told the kids at Virginia Tech that they should've DONE SOMETHING. When you're in that situation you can be paralyzed with fear, not knowing WHAT to do.
Its easy for Cary and the rest of you to sit at your keyboard, drinking your coffees, and telling this person what she should've done. But until you've actually BEEN there, (a woman alone with a stranger inside her home, nowhere to run, with the safety of her children to worry about), I'd advise you to STFU.
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how much money is it?
[Read the article: Our office manager is a dental despot!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I think what's kind of critical here is how much money she's getting asked to pony up for this. Her whole paycheck? $5? Makes a difference. Also, what does her boss the "other" dentist think about it all? Can they formulate a rebellion together? Solidarity in numbers.
My office has seen a massive spate of turnover this year. It's the "done thing" to contribute a few dollars to everyone's leaving gift (even the people you don't really know or work directly with). I've started to stop putting in. The office manager comes around, asks me, and I say polietly, "no". Chances are she thinks I'm a grinch. I don't really care what she thinks. The truth is I get paid to do my job, and it's not my responsibility to contribute somewhere in the neighborhood of $150 a year to various people's "going away" gifts. It's not tax deductible, and honestly theres better places for my money to go.
This office manager sounds like shes going to give you a hard time no matter what, so I say, why cave? If you do, she'll just find another reason to be rude to you. So, hey, give her a reason, and keep your money. Just like its not my job to personally fund every joe schmoe's going away present (whatever happened to the COMPANY paying for something?), it's not your job to fund free advertising for your company. Tell the lady that, and stick to your guns. Caving in isn't going to get you anywhere, and if its unplesant allready, you might as well get some of your own back.
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crime in japan
[Read the article: Harassment by design]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]While I can't speak on the 'harassment' issue, violent crime and assualts (including sexual assault) has actually been on the DECLINE in Japan over the past few years.
Which makes the whole "dress as a vending machine to escape violent predators" thing a bit fascinating. Why, when statistics are showing crime is on the decline, is there so much hysteria in Japan over mugging/sexual assault? Is it the same kind of "be afraid, be very afraid... the terrorists/criminals/druglords are out to get you... better pay us lots of money to protect you" kind of mentality running rampant in the states currently?
While you might have some jerk think its ok to touch you in a japanese subway, you're a lot less likely to get murdered, raped, or assaulted than you are in NYC. Snd they don't sell vending machine outfits in the Big Smoke... they sell mace and personal tazers.