Letters to the Editor
Rowyna
Published Letters: 105 Editor's Choice: 36
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but what about the children....
[Read the article: How to become the perfect, "surrendered" wife]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Far be it from me to step on someone elses toes and tell them how to make their relationship work. I honestly believe that it makes some women very happy to live in the 1950s marriage household ideal. Good on them - not for me.
What worries me is what message these men and women are sending to their children. Is it fair to tell your daughters that they are incapable of making decisions and need a man to do it for them just because it's true for the mother? Is it right for mothers to pamper their sons to such an extent that at the age of 21 they still honestly don't know how to do their own laundry?
Just important to remember that marriage relationships often AREN'T just about two consenting adults doing whatever works for them... they're about the environment and messages these people are sending to their children as well. It makes me sad to see women basically sending the message to their daughters that they are worth less than men.
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you should check it out in australia
[Read the article: Kiddie prisons]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Been living in australia and am scared that the situation in the US could end up like here...
They put illegal immigrants (refugees from dictatorships usually) of ANY AGE into 'detention centres' in the middle of nowhere. A detention centre is a minimum security prison for all intents and purposes, and they contain children. Some of those children have been in 'detention' (cough*imprisonment*uncough) for YEARS. If a 5 year-old is in detention for only 1 year, that means they've been in prison for 20% of their life... it scares the bejesus out of me that people here are so freaking blase about this, because I can see how this country's right-wing xenophobic government closely mirrors that in the US. Hopefully it won't get so bad at home because the voice of immigrants is a bit louder and more heard in the US, but don't think that it couldn't happen.
Kids in prison for half their lives because their family is trying to flee opression or create a better life for them... sadness.
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choices
[Read the article: Ricki Lake's "awesome" vagina]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]As in all things, women should be allowed to make choices about their own bodies without society judging them.
I find it hypocritical for women who are critical of the estabilished medical community for not listening to women about their bodies to then turn around and tell other women who elect to deliver by c-section that they are unnattural and interfering with 'bonding'.
Women should be free to do what they wish- natural home birth or elective c-section without society slamming them. It seems like the 'you're not a good enough mother because you didnt do...' syndrome is now starting even BEFORE the child is born.
I'd find the message of 'let women make their OWN choices about childbirth without the intereference of know-it-all doctors' a lot more powerful if the film didn't then go on the bash women who make their OWN choice to have a c-section. My body, My choice. People who elect to have c-sections aren't 'too posh to push' any more than people who elect natural birth are all 'granola crunching hippies'. Each has advantages and disadvantages, which are up to the mother to weigh. Butt out society.
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talk to him
[Read the article: I'm so anxious I can't think straight]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I feel for you LW. Sometimes, when I'm not looking, those thoughts come on me too. My mom is a Type II diabetic... what if she gets really sick tomorrow? I'm only 24, but can allready feel the creeping hand of mortality reaching for those I love. What happens when we die? Isn't that a root of anxiety sometimes.
I'd say the best way to deal with these feelings is two fold:
1. Distract yourself. Don't dwell on it. Try to distance yourself from the feeling, and look at it like you're someone else. A lot of time stuff like this isn't rational but we feel it anyway. Ride it out.
2. Talk to the people you are worried about losing. Have a frank discussion with your dad. Raise some of the issues. Not all at once, cause that'd be overwhelming in the extreme, but maybe 1 or 2 at a time. Ask him if he worries about death. Ask him about how he felt when HIS parents died. Sometimes realising that other people have been through the things you fear, and are fine, can help you stop fearing them.
3. Sounds lame, but keep a journal. Sometimes writing about your fears and anxiety can help you get a handle on what is really important to you, and ways of dealing with it. Writing itself is theraputic. When your thoughts swirl and clash and you begin to panic, writing forces you to order them, and stand back from them, so they can't get out of control.
Best of luck.