I've sen situations like this play out more than once. The reasons why you are doing this: one, you're coming up on the seven-year itch. It's real. The other reason: because in fact you had never been with another man and you were flattered by the attention of this presumably attractive young man. Nothing wrong with that. But you took it too far. Enough is enough. Knock it off. Nothing good can come of this. He needs to be with people his own age, and you need to focus your attention back on your husband and family, with the help of a counselor at your university counseling center to help you sort out why you were and are susceptible to this inappropriate relationship - "obsessed," to use your own word - and whether there are issues in your marriage that need to be addressed. If you don't end this relationship now, you will be guilty of very bad judgment and possibly jeopardizing your marriage and your professional reputation.

By the way, I wouldn't assume this affair is "secret." You've gotten together with him more than once. College campuses and towns are just like small-town America. You may well have been seen together and speculated about. And who is to say how many people he has shared this story with? He has nothing to lose and much entertainment and envy to inspire by sharing the tale of his conquest. You, on the other hand, have a great deal to lose. Think about that next time you're indulging your obsession over him. You may not be seeing him as clearly as you think you are.

This is exactly why I don't marry my romantic partner of seven years. He has daughters close to the same ages, 21 and 17, who are obnoxious drama queens. And they don't like me, nor does their mother. (Point of info: partner and ex had been divorced for seven years when he and I met, so there is no way the girls could blame me for breaking up the marriage.) But as I have always told him, they are his children and their needs will always come first. Their time with him is their time and I don't participate. We tried doing things all together when we were first dating. The younger one was o.k., the older one went out of her way to be rude. I tried to "win her over" very briefly, then realized it wasn't going to happen. A few years ago he moved away to take a job, so now I am in New England and he is in the upper midwest. The girls are still here in my city with their mother. When I visit him, all is very well. When he visits here, he stays with me and we plan our schedule around the girls' availability. He spends as much time with them as he can...and I don't participate. My take: when he is here, he's here for them first and me second. When I'm there, it's just us. The girls' take on all this? He tells me that the older one wishes he weren't involved with anyone at all, and the younger one tells him she's fine with him being involved with someone, but that I'm too old and she wishes he were with someone younger. (I'm 52, he's 49.) His ex-wife, long since remarried, is with the older girl; she ended their marriage, but if she can't have him, she doesn't want anyone else to either. See why I have no desire to marry into this family? The LW says she is creating a new model of marriage; I have developed a model of an adult relationship that works for me, and which my partner tells me works for him too. So it's unfortunate that the LW didn't broaden her options.

I was on her side 100% until I got to the part about the baby, then...WTF?? She had my support and sympathy up to that point. Way to make a bad situation worse, LW. Good luck; you're going to need it.

Age 52 here. Mid-20's is very young. I remember that age well and understand that it doesn't feel very young to you, so I will just ask you to trust me on this. You will meet many, many people in the years to come, so please don't feel like you are giving up your last chance for love. Maybe you will end up with your current love at some point in the future. But right now you have some reservations. You said yourself that these reservations are about significant issues, not petty ones. So please heed them. Please don't do anything that you don't feel is right for you, whether it be a career, a move, or a marriage. When it is right, you will know. A cliche, I know, but one borne of truth.

1. This comes up about every two years.

2. LW has a toddler and another one on the way.

Not a coincidence. This "religious war" is about the grandchildren, not so much about the LW. Let it go for right now. You're not going to be able to change her, or come up with a snappy answer, etc., so let it go for right now and just concentrate on your marriage, your kids, and your job. In that order. A few years from now, when the MIL starts giving Bible story books for birthday gifts and so forth, then you and your husband can agree on the boundary line between MIL's beliefs and your parenting. But please let it go for now. Life isn't a TV program or a novel. Everything doesn't get resolved at the end of the show or the last chapter. Life is never perfect. Everyone gets some damn thing to deal with that he/she has no control over, and in your case it's your husband's mother. And as the other letters demonstrate, MIL's are somewhat of a universal issue. Good luck.