Letters to the Editor
Anonymust
Published Letters: 2032 Editor's Choice: 74
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Oh, please!
[Read the article: The baby bust]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I've seen this "theory" before, and have the same reaction to it now, that I did then. It doesn't mean very much. Yet, it continues to get media play. Think how many people you know who are not comfortable with the politics/religion/ethics/values of their own families, with whom they happen to share some DNA and perhaps some happy memories.
Just because a person is born into a Republican or a conservative family, does not mean that he or she will follow suit throughout his or her lifetime. Likewise, for those born into Democratic or liberal families. All kinds of other factors-- besides DNA & nurture-- come into play: education, personal experience and choices, epiphanies, exposures to people unlike one's self or one's family. Over time, one's gender and age are signicant factors, since they have an impact on our personal experiences, as well as on the lives of our loved ones. (E.g., many men become more acutely aware of why feminism is so important when they have daughters.)
And don't forget popular culture. Joe Scarborough, for example, pays attention to popular culture's news stories because he admits that Hollywood and the entertainment media are far more effective at winning hearts and minds than anything in our political system. He and I are not even neighbors on the political spectrum, but we can still agree on that premise. Culture both changes and educates people. It's happening in concerts and tours all over the country. And in the movies, and in books. And on Comedy Central. Print and TV news may still be missing out on the important stories, but isn't that also reflected in their struggle for readers and viewers? If they had more of what people want-- instead of what the corporate VIPs demand-- they would have more viewers.
Why was "Family Ties" so poignantly funny? Because, no matter how hard they tried, the Keatons were unsuccessful at instilling their own liberal values into their oldest child. "All in the Family" was another example. No one agreed with Archie very much on anything. Period. (Now, a program with an updated version of that kind of appeal would be sacrificed on one of the cynical altars of profit and RealityTV. Joan of Arcadia, Everwood, etc., etc.)
And, then, there's the notion of "fair play." Even children understand that one, and when(if) a person matures and receives more data, its meaning often changes, if only subtly.
Now... if you want to talk about organized religion having an electoral effect, that's less easy to dismiss. For now.
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There was an episode of Grey's Anatomy...
[Read the article: My boyfriend's ex puts me down in public]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]...where Izzy finally had to deal, once and for all, with her modeling background and put an end to being ribbed about it, when another resident (who actually liked her, ironically) had posted a bunch of photos of her on all of the locker doors.
The way Izzie dealt with that hazing might give the LW some ideas, but if not, then she could just relate that "particularly amusing" episode in that same group of people at an appropriate moment, and then turn to the ex and say, "So, what is it going to take to make you stop constantly trying to embarrass me in front of everyone?" That should stop her in her tracks.
It was a very gratifying episode for anyone who's been bullied or goaded. I especially liked Izzy's 'coup d'grace' line (paraphrasing here) "...and when you're all through with your education and struggling to pay off hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans... I won't have any debt." The LW's might be something similar... that when all is said and done, none of her hostility or insults are going to win the LW's boyfriend back, and instead are only likely to make her even more disagreeable to everyone else in the group. Or something like that.
Count me among those who also think the LW should say "No" to the carpooling. Saying yes does nothing to enhance one's reputation in this case, while saying no can only increase one's sense of self-respect.
It was an important moment when I finally realized that increasing one's self-confidence or -esteem is not necessarily a "feel-good" experience, but can actually be uncomfortable and feel unattractive. It's okay, though.