Thanks, Kate, for the link to the recipe. I will try it. The next time I find some affordable short ribs. For some reason, the stores I visit don't always have them, and when they do, sometimes they're a bit dear. I've always thought lasagna was expensive to make, no matter what I put in it. Last time it was a vegan version for a potluck, and was quite a hit, probably because I crumbled and drained the tofu (when I was still eating soy) before mixing it with some shredded vegetables and layering it with sauce, noodles (brown rice), and layers of spinach and, I think some basil, none of which I pre-cooked. And the spinach was triple-washed, so it went in dry, too. So, the texture was not to wet or too dry.

ConstructionWorker and NoWeepingWillow have each added a dose of reality to the discussion. It is possible to shop in the way they describe, but as CW mentioned cooking is also exhausting, which is one reason I try to make enough for several meals at once. There has been so much passion in this discussion among people who really love food that I want to say again, blog, people, blog. If you don't want to set one up for yourself, I'm willing to host guest bloggers. And I have two sites, one here (more related to politics) and one at blogger (more misc. & food-related). So, depending on what you want to write about, you can have your choice: http://blogs.salon.com/0004000/ or http://karensbreadcrumbs.blogspot.com/. I find the intersection of food and politics to be an especially compelling story. What better way to educate ourselves and each other than to share our own "real world" cooking methods, recipes, secrets & tips, shopping hints, etc.? Bookseller, you must have some real treasures to share. You, too, Mandy. (p.s. Humor is really tough to communicate online...)

Btw, bookseller, "blame the poor" was not what I got out of Pollan's article, either, tho' you're right, a lot of letters mentioned it. I was responding to the previous letter writers' comments about "the poor." As for that issue of morality... maybe it dates from the temperance movement, and the health-food movement that was so popular around the same time, and is the reason we have become so obsessed with cereal?

Also... there was a really provocative article in Harper's awhile back that I think you guys would appreciate: http://www.harpers.org/TheOilWeEat.html Or maybe you've already read it.

some of these letters were merely ordinary, a few were pretty distasteful, some worth considering, and a few worth keeping at hand (CosmicMojo and NoWeepingWillow among them). Maybe the LW will make some art from the letters...

I was surprised at first by Cary's response, but couldn't really disagree with it, being someone who spent the first half of my life moving every year or two (not my idea). There's something to be said for becoming intimately familiar with your landscape or geography... i.e., past the point of disliking it and back to some kind of reconciliation.

Still, there is also something to be said for the possibilities in living in a city in a community of other artists, and sharing her creative energy with other artists, instead of spending it all in a relationship that probably has an end-date, no matter how good-natured the daughtered guy with ADD is. [Couldn't ADD as easily make one move from job to job or start too many projects or have too many jobs?] However, deciding to just up and move without a plan-- but with significant debt-- is not likely to create that environment. Along with a lot of discipline, any successful artists I've known also tend to be fairly thrifty and careful with their resources. If they have a job to pay the bills, they also save as much as they can for future rainy days. In the meantime, the LW could do as others have suggested and make periodic trips to the city. But, instead of just going to see Art, how about using those times to try and meet some new people and make some contacts with galleries or venues for her own work. Having a network already in place would make moving less traumatic, and might even make it less expensive in the long run, since it always helps to know people who know people, etc.

So, I have to agree with NameWithheld, and say plan. And, while you're at it, explore the things Cary suggested. What could be the downside?

Look for a less soul-sucking job. Also, tell the BF he has to start contributing and pulling his own weight. (Maybe then the job would feel less soul-sucking; perhaps it really pays just enough to support only one person in comfort, and the extra weight is the real drag.) Pay off the debt, and save some money. Ask for help in how to do these things. The job might be one place. There may be some benefits that include financial advice, savings plans, etc.

And finally, consider a bit of redecorating. A fresh coat of paint and some refurbishing (maybe decluttering?) can be inspiring and invigorating. Note: too much yellow on the walls can become fairly irritating. (At this point, I'm thinking I should follow some of my own advice.)

And, no, you really can't expect the BF to move four hours away from his child right now. Maybe when she's grown and ready for college, but even then it's only a maybe.

* * * * *

[Does anybody besides me feel tempted to write a really whiny letter asking for Cartman's advice? About something trivial, nothing major or life-changing. Might be fun.]

...to those that are worth keeping at hand.