Can anyone really imagine a child-- adult or not-- doing anything horrible enough to justify being disowned by his or her parents?

Perhaps the LW, as so many others have commented, really is considering calling her parents, or at least her father. Even so, Cary was right to say that the LW was under no obligation to return the call. Particularly, since they'd made themselves abundantly clear before, and were not apologizing, even now, for having disowned her.

The LW is, of course, free to call her parents if she wishes, and perhaps even more so, because Cary gave her such an unequivocal "permission" not to do so. He was adamant. No obligation. Period. Had he qualified his response in any way with: however... on the other hand... ,etc., the essence of his permission would have simply evaporated. So, if the LW really takes Cary's letter to heart, but still decides to call, there is a lot more freedom in her choice than if she had been made to feel obliged.

And if she decides not to call? From my own experience, trying to "reconcile" or make some kind of amends with parents who have been far less than perfect can be vastly over-rated... and can as likely be just one more opportunity to know how disappointing one is to the parent.

Therapy, however, is an excellent idea whenever one loses-- or anticipates losing-- a parent with whom one has unfinished business.

As a matter of fact, I had not yet read your letter. Since I am an obsessive proof-reader, it usually takes me longer than 3 minutes to write a comment.

I was responding, in general, to the number of comments suggesting that the LW forgive her parents, make contact with them, etc., etc.... And I wondered how many of them have actually lost a parent with whom they had a dysfunctional relationship. Those happy endings are mostly in the movies, as some else noted, because they don't happen often enough in real life.

As for being broke... something already is. Her relationship with her parents. Losing a parent is hard enough when you've been close; it can be even harder if you haven't been close or have, in fact, been estranged. It would be completely sensible to establish a relationship with a therapist now-- assuming the LW hasn't already-- rather than waiting until after either of her parents die, when it can be more difficult to make good decisions for awhile.

I'm just writing from personal experience. Would that I had sought some help before my mother died, rather than after, and maybe I wouldn't have turned my own life upside down as a result. It can take a bit of work to get a good therapeutic relationship going. Imagine how much harder it can be if you wait until the one person who was supposed to love you unconditionally-- but did not-- dies before asking for help.

The last sentence of my previous comment should have read:

"Imagine how much harder it can be if you wait until the one person who was supposed to love you unconditionally-- but did not-- dies before you ask for help."

...an example of why I usually spend more time proofreading a comment.

...would be my ideal ticket.

Like Feingold, Conyers has been doing alone what his entire party should be doing.

And my litmus test? Candidates who will fight back when voting irregularities surface. Otherwise nothing else really matters.

"Iraqurate"

It is almost tempting to recast all of them, and instead of calling Cheney "Darth Vader," dubbing him, the "Tin Man," Rumsfeld, the "Cowardly Lion," and Bush, of course, the "Scarecrow."

But that would mean I was an optimist and thought they had the potential for acquiring knowledge from self-reflection, as well as the capacity to change. Unfortunately, in this instance, I am not and I don't.

Instead, each reflects his fatal flaw back onto the rest of us-- their critics.

But maybe an SNL skit... after all, humor is one of the few weapons we still have at our disposal, and few things are sharper than a well-placed barb...

What if Dorothy's saga did not have a happy ending? Remember the two guys on the roof trying to outdo one another with their gory tales? Just imagine what Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion as Bush, Cheney and Rummy might do and say in that scenario!

...maybe just not what he looks like, but now via the internet, anyone can be forewarned: http://img.viacomlocalnetworks.com/images_sizedimage_309015743/lg, or http://www.ocregister.com/newsimages/local/2004/07/20haidl.jpg

as well as the convicted perpetrators, Nachreiner, Spann and Haidl : http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/usworld/news-article.aspx?storyid=53570

and Haidl's father, a former assistant sheriff: (scroll to the bottom of the page) http://www.metinbereketli.com/pages/goldstarawards.html

However, not even Google Images would yield photos of the investigators.