...was an Eagle Scout, many years ago. He'd always thought he'd volunteer with Boy Scouts after he retired. Fast forward to today, when for exactly these reasons, he won't volunteer.

A neighbor of theirs ended up in court, and eventually committed suicide because some neighborhood kids accused the man of molesting them. Everyone (neighbors, parents, police, etc.) believed the kids. It turned out in the end (after his suicide), that the kids recanted their story. The man had been grumpy to them for riding their bikes on his lawn, so they made it up.

It had a lasting effect on my FIL. He loves our kids to pieces, is a great grandfather, but absolutely refuses to volunteer with any kids other than ours. It's sad too, he's a gentle, patient soul, who loves to take the time to explain things and listen. He'd be excellent on field trips or teaching reading. But he won't.

I'm a nerd, an introvert, and was panicked by loud parties (still am, in fact). The idea of living in a 24/7 party dorm or sorority gave me the willies.

I chose the "intensive study" dorm... and found a wonderful group of quiet people just like me. My closest friends now 20+ years later are people I met in that dorm. There were quirky people, fun people, annoying people, musicians, artists, chemistry majors, all sorts... all looking for a little peace and quiet.

That dorm was like home for me, I still have fond memories even if the power tripped off every time I dried my hair, and my roommate was a little odd. Our parties were the best, and I always, always knew that I could just go three floors up and the noise would go away.

My fondest memories come from talent shows... watching movies... listening to a guy sing perfect Gilbert and Sullivan and then break into Eric Clapton... it was great.

Talk to your school's residence office. Most schools will have a "study floor" in bigger dorms, or even an entire dorm. That's where the geeks like you are hiding. You can find them.

Good luck

... at a large metro area hospital in the US. What most people don't know is that psychiatric wards are money losers. Newer hospitals don't have them. People who want to work in psych care have a long waiting line (almost as long as the patients line to get in) because there are relatively few jobs.

The truth is that psych patients don't have benefits. These are people who are not capable of getting or holding a "good" job, and what benefits they have (Medicaid, county, etc.)often don't cover the cost of their care. The hospital eats the difference, thus your $9 tylenol on your next visit for some routine surgery.

Some newer hospitals are built to cater to high-profit procedures for people with benefits--knee replacements, hip replacements, heart procedures, maternity. Not mental health. Rather than caring for them, we'd prefer they just go away.

When the police pick up a person who smells terrible and barks at the moon, and brings them to the hospital, the county pays for maybe 2/3 of their care. It costs $1200 a day for inpatient acute psych treatment, for people who cycle through the hospital 3-6 times a year when they forget to take their meds.

Mental health care in the US is beyond broken. We have no way of adequately caring for people who cannot get and hold a job.

Seems like once a week, I send my school age kids to their rooms with a grocery bag each. "Put in 10 things," I say, and they start rummaging. They can fill a bag now without even much angst, from stuff they didn't even know they had.

I don't know where it all comes from. It multiplies in the dark. A trip to Burger King with Grandma. A birthday party last week with a bag of plastic goodies. A trip to the dollar store. A birthday. The one before that. The one before that. Christmas, from parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We are drowning in toys, and they keep coming in.

They are plentiful and cheap, and we live in a plastic Made In China graveyard. We give it away all the time, and it keeps arriving.

Does anyone NEED all this stuff? Of course not. But because it's cheap, it turns up, again and again. The unholy piles of it mask the favorites, the really well-made things that hold up over time.

I wouldn't mind a bit if the price of toys doubled overnight. Maybe my kids would get one or two for a birthday instead of 10 or 15.

If you don't have kids, just go to the Goodwill toy section sometime, and you'll see what I mean.