If I were designing sex ed classes, after all the up to date biology, disease, birth control, and so on, I'd have a whole section on the economics of teen pregnancy. Show them how much child care costs. What it costs to feed, clothe, transport, etc. a baby. How much quality child care costs. What they're likely to earn in their futures with more education. Run the numbers--no high school diploma, diploma only, post-high school certificate (like hairdressing, vet tech, trades, etc... licensed professions that don't require college), 2-year college, 4-year college. I had to take a completely useless, badly taught "Personal Finance" class in high school. I'd make that over into "Personal Finance and Pregnancy".

Teens are smart. Much smarter than we give them credit for. Give them the information. All of it, in complete un-varnished truth. I'm still convinced that if we provide them with good information, continually, they'll use it.

Shame isn't necessary. Information is.

I know with my own elementary school aged kids, they're far more likely to follow a rule if they understand WHY that rule is there. "Because I said so" isn't good enough. Yes, they still forget, they're still careless, thoughtless kids sometimes. But they understand a lot more than I think they're capable of.

Delete the email. Do not respond in any way other than to your partner.

What this MILF wants is a response, good, bad, or otherwise. Refusing to give one is the most infuriating thing you can do. Think Ghandi. Do not participate. As I've learned in parenting classes, the kid wants to play tug-of-war, and the hardest thing to do is NOT pick up the rope. Do not join the argument. Delete the email. Put her address in your spam filter. Any future emails go right where they belong, with all the ads for pen1s enhancement and v1agra. Do not read them.

The conversation you have with your significant other, by the way, is a whole 'nother thing. Make your position clear. This person has crossed a lot of personal and professional boundaries with your SO. It's up to him to make it clear where those boundaries are, not you.

Can I buy in? Sounds like just the sort of fund I'd like to put my own money in.

Fabulous chapter in there where the author analyzes crime statistics in the 1980s. Guess what? There's a huge, massive, nationwide drop in crime of all kinds, just about 17-19 years after Roe v. Wade passed. In states where abortion was already legal, that drop in crime came a few years earlier.

Surprise.

The author's conclusion, after analyzing massive amounts of statistics, is that people, sometimes men, sometimes couples, mostly women, are remarkably good at deciding when they cannot handle the responsibility of a baby. Children raised in poverty, in single-parent homes, born to very young parents, have a statistically much higher chance of growing up to become criminals. What happens when those children Are Not Born?

I'd challenge the anti-choice folks to really think about it. Are THEY willing to fund the piano lessons/scouts/soccer camp/museum membership/day care/preschool/remedial tutoring/health insurance/dental insurance/public schools/college educations of all those "unborn" kids? Are they willing to sacrifice and give every advantage to EVERY child (not just their own children), so every child can grow up to be a contributing member of society? Are they willing to chair the PTA and volunteer in the most cash-strapped, low income schools?

I didn't think so.

Until they're willing to do so, for EVERY child born into desperate straits, I think they should respectfully bow out of this debate.

Babies make children. Children are wonderful, and damned expensive in just about every way imaginable. People love to jaw about "unfunded mandates" in Washington or in their local state capitals. Insisting on no abortions is about the biggest unfunded mandate I can think of.

Mostly because I hate prescribed holidays that tell me when I should do what. The best days are always the ones that come out of nowhere, unexpected, when the sky is blue and the mood is great and things go wonderfully, and I'm happy to be alive, and happy to be married.

Think I can PREDICT when those will fall? Not bloody likely. They're a gift from the universe, from the gods, from whatever. They happen when they happen.

Valentine's day at our house is for the kids... the ones with all those little paper valentines from school. Not for rushing around, trying to get reservations at an overcrowded restaurant, trying to get a babysitter... fugettaboutit. Or buying lame overpriced cards because Hallmark says we're supposed to.

Don't think for a minute that all "coupled" people are making a big deal out of Valentine's day. We're not.

... after reading Pablo's column. It made me think about all the packages there in the store... the acres and acres of jars, cans, bottles, six-packs, plastic tubs, bags, pouches, boxes, and on and on. I brought home some kiwis, and threw the plastic bag away. (I already have a drawer stuffed full... I will NOT save any more bags). I did use re-usable shopping bags, but that's not even the beginning of all the waste from food packaging.

I'm an avid recycler, but still. I don't cook from scratch much, I'm just as guilty as the next consumer for using packaged stuff, for being in a hurry and thinking that string cheese in its little plastic wrappers is pretty handy.

Thanks for the column, and thanks for the reminder to really SEE the waste at the grocery store. Maybe I'll bake some bread this week. And skip the soda.