Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, anyone?

Something about always carrying a towel?

Just wondering.

I kinda think this is a lot of ado about not much. We here in the USA live an incredibly hygenic life, and I think we obsess a bit much about the slightest germ. I don't obsess about the bathroom door handle. I think that's what my immune system is for. I do wash my hands, I use a hand dryer if one is there, and I go on with my life, worry-free.

Yes, some people buy those $500 strollers, but a whole lot more do not. I know that children aren't exactly a financial asset as they were in the farm days, but Keerist, they're not exactly what the article makes them out to be. There are quite a lot of us who are happy with our parenting choices, and do all sorts of subversive things like visit the library, shop at Goodwill, send kids to public schools, and participate heavily in activities through the local parks department. But then, I would have done those things anyway, even if I didn't have kids.

The big thing we've given up is not consumer goods but international travel. Dragging crabby toddlers/grade schoolers across the world on adventure treks just isn't going to happen, for both financial and practical reasons.

The argument of "there are 6 billion people on the planet" isn't going to pay for our social security when it comes time to retire and there aren't enough young workers. Those young, working, producing people in the future either come from today's kids (and their kids) or they come from immigration. The "me first" crowd seems to want neither one. So, when you're 90, who is going to be your doctor? Your housecleaner? Your caregiver? It sure as hell won't be someone else who is 90.

And there are times I regret it. It's a logistical pain in the rear, and it has taken YEARS to use it without thinking about it.

When my sister-in-law married my brother, and took HIS name, I had a serious pang of jealousy... there she was, a newcomer, with MY family name that I still miss.

If I had it to do again, I wouldn't. I have kids in elementary school now, and when I took my husband's name I did it because I wanted any future children's teachers, friends, schools, etc. to be clear that we weren't divorced, I wasn't a step-mom, we were all one family. But every time I sign the kids up for something (school, parks and rec classes, whatever), someone clarifies, do I have the same last name as them? It's so common now to have different last names in a family, and no one assumes anything about it. When people call me "Mrs. _____" I always look for my mother-in-law.

I'm not changing it back, it's too difficult. But I might make a different choice if I had it to do again.

Get a good therapist, for you. The litmus test, I think, is a therapist who is willing to help you put your priorities in order, i.e. the kids first. They are unwilling powerless bystanders in this mess of a situation, and their stability and need for reassurance needs to be the most important. You can make the kids most important for you at least, even if your wife obviously won't make them number one. One way or another, your most important job is to give your kids a stable home. That's either with or without your wife, and only you can figure that out.

I'm also reminded of a certain type of personality disorder (can't remember the clinical name) that gets a rush out of causing chaos. Think of the adrenaline rush your wife is getting by sleeping around, lying, sending lovey emails to you and to her affair man from the same softball game... there is nothing quite so delicious and sexy as a secret. You may find she's addicted to the rush, to the chaos, to the drama and disorder that she gets to be at the center of. If that's the case... you're best off out.

Good luck.

When the washer isn't in use, leave the door open a crack. The difference with front loaders and top loaders is that front load machines are water-tight. When you leave the door shut, stuff will grow and it will stink. Kind of like leaving the lid on an empty thermos bottle.

Once in a blue moon (when I need it), I run a load of whites on hot water with bleach. Combined with leaving the door open, I've never had a problem with smell.

I love my front loader, for all the reasons already mentioned. My next step is installing a backyard clothesline, next spring when the rain stops.

This isn't exactly a fair comparison.

The Indian nationals who are in this country, specifically those in Silicon Valley, hardly represent an accurate cross-section of Indian society. Yes, India is diverse and all, and yes Indians value education. But the immigrants to America from other places (Mexico, Indonesia, Africa, etc.) are usually here on a wing and a prayer with little education, a lot of hard work, and are working their fingers to the bone in some miserable, menial capacity, hoping for the best for their kids.

The Indians, however, especially in Silicon Valley, come in with advanced degrees, H1B visas, and sponsorship from corporations. Everyone in India is not like this. The Indian equivalent of the menial-labor, wing-and-prayer demographic is still in India, scrabbling away. Because of a combination of economic factors and a lack of trained engineers, the US tech economy has siphoned off the best and brightest from India. That hardly makes Indians into de-facto successes because of their multicultural upbringing. The same would happen if the US siphoned off the highest educated college graduates from any country.

Yes, kids still make construction paper hats for Thanksgiving. Just so you know.