Guests of the Sheik: An Ethnography of an Iraqi Village by Elizabeth Warnock Fernea

This book, more than any other, can illustrate that Iraqi society IS NOT LIKE OURS. Yes, they are human beings, like every other person on this planet. But there are some fundamental, deep-seated cultural differences between how they think and behave and see the world that we still, after all this time, refuse to see.

The book is written in the 1950's and explores the pre-modern, tribal village structure of Iraqi society, viewed from the eyes of western researchers. Obviously Iraqis have the trappings of western society today--cars, radios, shops, university educations, the internet. However, their culture is a fundamental part of who they are (just as our culture is a fundamental part of who we are), and we do not even attempt to understand it. Dismissing the current insurgency as "sectarian violence" is the height of folly, as if one could bottle up generations of thought, throw it away, and spread on a layer of western style government like peanut butter. It won't work, and it never could work from the start.

I agree with the other posters who recommend that LW make some plans first, then quit. That's being responsible. But staying a soul-destroying job is not responsible.

LW, think of this as an opportunity to show your six-year-old how work CAN be. You have a rare opportunity to try something new, with the support of your husband. Go, and do it. If your daughter can grow up seeing her mom be joyful in her work, doing what she wants to do, with the memory of her mom being unhappy, quitting a hated job, and trying something new... that's a powerful message.

Obviously, money is a big motivator. We all gotta eat and pay our bills. But there's no rule that we must be miserable doing so. Quitting to blow the family savings going round the world in a sailboat while hubby stays home to pay bills and raise the kid... that's immature. But making some careful plans, doing research, allowing yourself space to dream and think of possibilities, and giving yourself permission to act on those possibilities, that's human and natural and by all means do it. There are loads of books, seminars, and ways to explore this. Maybe start with an afternoon in your local bookstore or library perusing the shelves. Look for classes at your local community college. Find a career counselor.

While you're doing this research, turn the work angst off. Easier said than done, but once you really begin to believe you're paving the way out, it will become easier and easier to do. All you're doing is exchanging your time for their money, short term, while you figure out where to go next.

Good luck.

I read the article on the Glamour link. It's a great piece of journalism, to see all these incidents I'd heard about in bits and pieces, spelled out at once. When I combine that with my own memories of inaccurate sexual health information from my own teen years (girls who took their friend's pill for a few days and thought they were "safe", and any number of other bits of teen "wive's tales" that travelled my school hallways)... That's scary.

I can understand the government having an agenda. That's their right as a right-wing government. Everyone's allowed an opinion. But to publish outright lies on sites that are scientific in nature... that's really scary. What a strange world we live in. It outlines my job as a parent (of grade school kids at the moment, but I know they'll be teens far sooner than I'm ready for it). I can't rely on anything they'll learn at school... I'll have work hard to counter whatever misinformation is travelling the kid-network at the time.

Thanks for the heads-up.

I'm an American. I've been laid off by a dying company headed for bankruptcy, and even then it hurt. But it was necessary. It's part of the risk of starting companies that some will fail. Companies expand, companies contract. Expansion is fun, contraction sucks, there's no two ways about it.

I've also lived through my share of office politics, and seen a fair number of people fired or let go over the years for good cause. There was the guy who never met a deadline who was caught writing a porn novel on his computer during work time. There was the other guy who was fired for online gaming during work hours. There was the woman who hated everything and everyone, thought her work was infinitely superior, and couldn't get along with anyone. When those people were finally shown the door, either individually or during a round of layoffs, it's wasn't fun but it's a necessary part of life in the business world. No one questioned why, and we all breathed a sigh of relief.

I'm not saying that every firing everywhere is deserved, nor that some aren't the result of fat cats at the top getting their golden handcuffs while those at the bottom get the boot. But there's got to be some middle ground between guaranteed employment for life and the flexibility needed by any business to expand or contract with the times. I would agree that the current solution in France (only allowing workers under 26 to be fired) is not an equitable solution to the problem. But guaranteeing work for life for everyone else can't be good for the country either. You can't convince me that every single one of those people with a lifetime labor contract earns it. Human nature just doesn't work that way.