Your question is a valid one, i.e.,

This scenario is so common - are any male readers who actually got to this point able to explain what goes -- or went - through your heads?

I know there are females who do the same thing, but I'd like to hear it clearly from a man's perspective.

I think most men experience what the husband in question is going through. We all look at other women at some point during our marriage and fatherhood and think it would be better with another woman....we'd be happier...freer to be "who we really are"....

The difference is, some men act on those impulses, and some don't. The ones who don't act on those impulses are guided by religious, or moral, or ethical considerations.

And that's a good thing. The commitment you make to a marriage is so much more important than your perceived need for self-fulfillment or that elusive chimera called "happiness."

The guys who leave a marriage and children and go off in search of happiness, or fulfillment, usually end up very unhappy and unfulfilled.

And the guys who stay with a marriage, and work at it, and work toward finding fulfillment within the context of family (the key is to work at it, and not just passively accept it as "your fate" or "your duty")...those guys usually end up pretty happy.

Sorry if this sounds smarmy, or trite, but that's been my experience, and my observation of other marriages.

I'll grant you, there are a lot of immature men out there who have betrayed their wives and turned their backs on their children and given their entire sex a bad name.

But please don't lump all men in with the jerks.

There are an awful lot of good guys who take their marriage vows and their responsibility as fathers seriously, guys who help out with the housework and coach their kids' sports teams and stand by their wives through tough times, after-baby weight problems, and all the rest of the trials and traumas that a marriage goes through.

As a Democrat, I don't understand other Democrats who say they will defect to McCain or sit out the election if their preferred candidate doesn't win the nomination.

That seems terribly childish and self-defeating...what my mother used to call "cutting off your nose to spite your face."

Does anyone really think we can survive another Republican administration with a continuation of the disastrous Bush foreign policy and the idiotic GOP approach to economics (cut taxes but don't decrease government spending)?

Come on, people. Either Hillary of Barack can do the job. We can fight like cats and dogs during the primary season, but when the big contest comes around we need to close ranks and act like mature Democrats.

Geez, Cary gave good advice this time.

Go figure......

Here's an interesting idea for rounding out the Obama ticket......

Newt Gingrich.

Yes, you heard right....Newt Gingrich, the one-time bete noir of the '94 Republican Revolution.....Newt Gingrich, the forward-thinking, brainy former Speaker of the House.

Newt would give the Obama ticket the conservative credentials that the McCain candidacy lacks. He would also help win the Bubba vote in those Southern states that may be reluctant to vote for a black man.

How about Newt?

If Hillary Clinton should get the Democratic nomination, her running mate should be Jesus Christ himself because, after shattering the Democratic party into a thousand pieces by nominating Hillary, the Dems will need divine intervention to win the election.

Oh, geez.....

Don't you just love it when some Christian group gets outraged over an innocuous display of the human body and makes complete fools of themselves?

They make the rest of us feel so good about ourselves ("I may be an idiot, but these people are real idiots").

But our home-grown Christian fundamentalist wackos pale by comparison with Muslim fundamentalists. I read recently about a father in Afghanistan who cut off his daughter's nose and ears because she had the bad fortune to be raped.

She had shamed him because she was raped. (Is that the height of pathological self-absorption, or what?)

So whenever you feel the urge to dump on Christian wackos like this group that's outraged over the Starbucks logo, think about the real wackos out there, and be kind.....

Dear Me:

You've been trained as a technical writer. It's a good field (I've been in it for 25 years) but it's also crowded. A lot of people want to be technical writers; some are qualified, some aren't. But hiring managers have a substantial pool of talent to choose from and it's very difficult to get an entry-level position. One of the reasons you may not have been landing jobs is that they may have gone to people with more experience.

So you need to get experience. How?

Three suggestions:

1. Hook up with an agency that provides contract tech writers to local companies. If you're not sure how to get in touch with these agencies, try checking the Yellow Pages under "Employment Contractors--Temporary Help."

2. Go to local companies and offer your services as a tech writer for free. You'll get good experience and you'll be able to use them as a reference.

3. Join STC (the Society for Technical Communication). It is the association for tech writers. There should be a local chapter in your area. They have employment listings and if you get involved with your local chapter, it's a great way to network and be aware of what's going on in the field. (Google "STC.")

Good luck.....

Geez.....

Gary Kamiya hits another home run with this article. This guy's really good.

Make sure you keep giving him salary increases, Salon. He's worth it.