Rachel Sklar notes that the face on the cover of Newsweek "...looked like the kind of kid who goes to school with Alexis Bledel on 'Gilmore Girls.'" I think that was the most shocking thing about the cover. I think that we tend to think of anorexic girls as something other than ourselves. We characterize them as freaks that are different from us and it allows us to distance ourselves from "them". I wonder if they didn't pick her photo because she looks so normal - like any other teenage girl.

I'm surprised at how many people that have written letters are full of such rage and are so quick to want to impose such a lawful justice against the carpet guy. The guy was a criminal and a jerk. There is no doubt that he has done this to people before and will do it to people again. But, why is that Anne's problem?

It would seem to me that Anne experienced grace and chose to pass that grace on in the world - even to someone that doesn't seem to deserve it. How many of you are perfect? How many of you have never ever manipulated, lied, or twisted a situation to your advantage? Would you rather that your "victims" punish you with revenge or extend the grace to you that you don't deserve? That is the heart Christianity: none of us are perfect, we all hurt the people around us (some in more grevious ways than others), and we don't deserve the grace that God extends to us. Yet, we do have that grace and when we really receive it, we are able to extend it to the people around us that don't deserve it either.

So great to see an article from you, Anne. Merry Christmas!

I absolutely agree that Americans do not tell the truth about money. You articulated so accurately the dysfunction that our culture has around money. Thank you for having the courage to speak the truth about this and so many other things.

Aside from the issues of disrespect and judgment that are at play here, I think you have also exposed an important element of this man's participation in your relationship: a lack of willingness to work to find a resolution to a serious issue in your relationship. Clearly you want very much to find a way to repair the relationship - to learn to communicate about it and to resolve what has happened such that you can value and love one another as you did early in the relationship. It would seem that he is resistant to participating in finding a resolution. This is an important thing for you to know. If he is not willing to work with you to resolve this difference, what other differences will he be unwilling to address in the future? Having been married for 10 years myself, I never could have anticipated the things that my husband and I would find ourselves disagreeing about as we travel through life together. Every so often we find one that is particularly difficult to work through and occasionally seek outside professional help to do it. If we weren't both committed to working on things together we would be very distant from each other by now. A lot of little distances and disagrements eventually add up to a big chasm between you.

If he doesn't value the relationship enough now to work to resolve your differences/disagreements, I doubt he will value it enough in the future to do so.

When I got married, I was totally ambivalent to having children, but my husband really really wanted them. So, I made him a deal: I'd get to work and follow my career and he could stay home and raise them. Of course, we are fortunate in that he is certainly more suited (temperament-wise) to daily child-rearing than I ever have been, so that has certainly increased our odds of success. But, so far, so good. In fact, a few years into parenthood I decided to change careers and have quit my job and we are spending our savings on graduate school for me. My husband continues to care for the children and make the house run while I go to school.

I mean, I do my fair share of parenting - putting kids to bed, helping with homework, caring for them while he gets to have adult time with his friends, you know all that stuff. But, as a general rule, he is the primary care giver and I am the secondary parent.

Having children is a huge decision and everyone should discern carefully what is right for them and their family. But, don't discount Cary's advice too quickly - it really is a reasonable alternative.