I am defensive because I live my life everyday as a single mother. I have been called selfish and irresponsible on a regular basis from random strangers. You all may think you are being "helpful," but it really is a form of abuse that is culturally accepted. I don't go around looking to beat up on strangers whose life might look a little more difficult than mine. I look for ways to help them. It is not my place to judge.

I don't understand the constant ongoing about the expense of raising a kid. It really isn't that expensive if you have your priorities straight.

I get a little defensive because I get called names on here often and it hurts a little. Yes I am a passionate defender of all things single mother. Most women are single mothers, even the married ones.

Exactly! Having more stories out there like this will increase the likelihood that something like that might happen someday. It doesn't matter what Ms Benfer's economic advantages might have been--she still accomplished something amazing that should be commended and emulated, not attacked.

I have often thought that single parents should put together some sort of co-operative that banks hours of volunteered time or services that you donate to other single parents--two hours of babysitting a week, making a pot of soup for another family, help with tax preparation, automotive services, carpooling. When the family is young, you may be taking more services than you donate, as your family grows, you donate more time and services. No guilt trips issued for taking advantage of the services.

I don't understand why they are beating you up so badly. I "get" what you are trying to say and appreciate your candor. It seems most of these posts are written by people who are guilty of the very flaws they criticize you for having.

Many of them spend so much time posting on Salon it is hard to imagine that they dedicate much time honing any talent other than bashing the freedom of expression.

Keep writing!

Take the time to really try to understand what she is saying in her peace rather than be so quick to lash out and criticize her for having the courage to speak. Being argumentative and critical are traits of lazy, insecure humans.

If your first reaction is anger at something she says, it is because you are recognizing something within yourself. Sit quietly with that thought for a while and explore why you are so angry. You might learn something about yourself. That is why pieces like this are so powerful, they help us grow--if we let them.

In reading the piece, I really felt the most of the contempt was self-directed. She was stating something about herself that she clearly regretted. That's a step towards change. I don't pity you Kitchen girl, you are no one of importance to me. (You seem to be a bit of a bully.) I just don't understand why so many people took this so personally. It is brave to write something like this--beating up on the author is pointless. Beating up on me is even more pointless. I am no one of importance either. ;-)

What is your point? All I said was I don't get why everyone is so upset at the author and writing with such rage. I am not into sports, haven't watched any of the Olympics and having no vested interest one way or another; viewed this as a piece more about human interactions. I am a chef, I sometimes have similar subtext about most people's eating habits. I keep the thoughts to myself and always show appreciation for a meal someone prepares for me, no matter what my actual thoughts are on the quality and execution. I think we all have similar thoughts about the things we see ourselves as experts on. This article made me feel more connected to my fellow man...not a bad thing.

I am being banished from Salon for trying to be civil?

weird.

Several years ago our team at work put some money together and adopted a family in the local Sub for Santa program. We had a wish list from each of the kids and it was all basic items like books, underwear and simple toys. After we had bought everything on the list, we still had money left over. I wanted to buy some PJ's for each of the kids and my co-worker who was in charge of the money wouldn't let me. She made the comment that "It is okay for poor kids to sleep in their underwear, and we just bought them lots of underwear." I put some of those chocolate oranges in the cart and she told me to put them back. I later bought the chocolates and PJ's anyway with my own money and slipped them into the pile.

It is sad that some people really act like many of these posters think. Like there is a different level of entitlement to pleasure between the haves and have nots.

I have walked in Ms Ryan's shoes. I would never judge her choices.

Just because Cindy has a half sister she disowns does not make thing okay for either one of them. Bad on both of them.

Can you people look at any situation without filtering it through a political lens? Why isn't he helping his brother. I mean, ten dollars a month would make a huge difference for George.

I am ready to be punched now.