you married a guy and split up the chores-- he did the outdoors, you the indoors (including laundry), plus you shared food gathering and major cleaning jobs. fine. but he lost his job and while he was looking for another (which is almost a fulltime job itself) YOU decided he should take on more chores and, for some punitive reason, his own little pile of personal laundry. okay. then he gets a job again which should return the status quo, but YOU add a couple of YOUR grandkids to the household, do THEIR laundry, and instead of throwing his socks and underwear in with the family wash, still expect him to do his little bit by himself.

lady, in your own parlance, he should bitch slap YOU.

did he say he wanted those kids in his home? does he want their noise and dirt? does he mind their interruption of his peaceful life, their disruption of your companionship? you resent his golf. maybe he just wants to get out of his overcrowded dungeon. they are not his grandkids, after all. suddenly his household is doubled on your sayso and you won't even toss his pjs in with your nightie!

if you want to keep this man, i say you should start with an apology and a cup of detergent.

i'm a kentuckian. i know something about politically divided families.

my paternal great grandfather fought for the union (2nd kentucky cavalry); his first cousin (12th ky. cav., confederate) surrendered under nathan bedford forrest after the war. both men died in the 1930s, cousin dent the oldest living confederate veteran in grayson county. my father remembered both men arguing about pensions on the steps of the county courthouse. actual enemies for a while, they died as cousins and friends.

my father was a new deal democrat. his brother had joined the army prior to wwii under the strong advice of a county judge, and remained a lifelong republican. dad idolized fdr; uncle liked ike. they argued politics all their lives. they remained brothers and friends.

i grew up in the sixties with more liberal ideas than my dad's. we argued politics, we argued social mores, we just argued. respect wavered from time to time, but i always loved my father. in fact, as time has moved on, in many ways i have become my father. but i stopped talking to my older brother for a year after bush the younger took office. we're fine now.

family is like a river. politics is a mere tributary.

lw is a young person, and he sees a divide in his family that he thinks may be too wide and permanent, and not worth traversing anyway. i don't believe that. lw appears to have a decent family, and in time he may come to value that. family is the first family value.

>>Slavery was the basis of their economy--and their riches--and they felt they had the right to enslave others to stay rich.<<

most white southerners did not own slaves. most white southerners who did own slaves owned fewer than five, and were not rich. [my gg grandfather owned exactly five slaves as of 1860, and his son fought for the union.] so you think slavery is why most southerners fought for the south? slavery made some few southerners wealthy; it did not make the south wealthy. on the other hand, new york dominated every phase of the cotton trade from plantation to market. 40% of the profits from slavery went to new yorkers, who were the wealthy southerners' bankers, factors, brokers, insurers, etc.

stalin? stalin the socialist dictator? stalin helped destroy hitler, but we "saved the world for democracy" from joseph stalin. marshall plan? berlin air lift?

about 30 years ago i gave an answer that was about that nonsensical to a question i was blindsided with at the followup interview to the written foreign service exam (something about "playing the china card" which, at the time, i had only the sketchiest idea of.) i'm sure the interviewers, with their professionally expressionless faces, split their sides once i left the room. and i wasn't 18. or blonde. or that pretty.

first, this was not a marriage-- there was no commitment >>for better or worse.<<

second, this relationship had already run out of gas. when the foetus appeared as an unexpected passenger, only the woman had the power and the right to kick it off the bus. she didn't. by law the brother was a bystander to this decision-- or lack of. at the least he will still owe child support payments for the next 18 years. at best he will play some role in the kid's life. a sorry situation.

the question is, why do you want to think of him as an asshole? you're such a distant figure yourself you haven't even flown out to see the kid.

if this is a >>jews only<< site i'll gladly pick up my specs and move elsewhere.

been a lifelong democrat... voted for only one republican (john anderson) for a national office in my entire life... but i would just about vote for lou dobbs for president right now. in my community the benefits of illegal immigration clearly accrue to the wealthy while the burdens fall mainly on the poor and working class. i'm just not ivory tower liberal enough to enjoy that situation.

this article is so clearly written from the perspective of the decedent's family, who are mounting a civil case against the st. mary's cops... all the information comes from them, including remembered dialogue... even the eku prof's statement is "expert witness" stuff... we're just getting one side of the story here.

i don't know what to think, i only know this isn't balanced reporting.

oh my... i'll see the movie regardless..

but for anyone out there interested in jj, or in johnny cash or levon helms at the pinnacle of their talent, may i recommend the cd of paul kennerley's "the legend of jesse james," with helms as jesse, cash as frank, charlie daniels as cole younger, emmylou harris as zerelda, rodney crowell, rosanne cash, etc. great music. you can find it on ebay.

you wrote a beautiful and thoughtful letter. all i can add is that dinah washington (for example) could still have sounded hot and sexy dressed in a burlap bag. unlike beyonce, her talent lay in her pipes, not her navel.

as someone previously noted, most states (all states?) have a three-day rule which allows the homeowner in these circumstances to cancel the contract in a timely manner. the salesperson HAS to give you written notice of this consumer right or the whole contract is voidable.

contact a lawyer. and remember, greedy people are the perfect gulls for con jobs.

what does he think about mom providing a daily floor show for his offspring?

how about the son exposing himself to his sister-- would she think that is okay? or to her friends? if mom has a boyfriend over, do the children get to see him naked? can he see the kids naked? how fast can their dad gain custody?

a shorty chenille robe costs about $15. decency? priceless.