Letters to the Editor
Published Letters: 236 Editor's Choice: 17
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Please Do Not Presume to Speak for Me
[Read the article: Clinton endorses Obama]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I am a 57 year old white feminist, have been one since I was 19, and first understood the term. No doubt I was one before, but didn't have a name for it. I was an Edwards supporter, and became an Obama supporter when I saw Hillary Clinton's campaign turn nasty. Not her anonymous supporters on their blogs and in online forums, but the campaign itself. Frankly, this weekend marks the first time that I've spent any time at all reading through comments about the campaign on the internet, and I am pained by them.
I have been told that "women" don't trust Obama, that my candidate, whose speeches I have followed closely, is sexist, that he does not deserve the votes of women. I have been told on national television, by a woman who appears to be my age or thereabouts, that she no longer hopes to see a woman president in her lifetime.
In short, I have been told by women who presume to speak for me, a lot of things that are the polar opposite of what I believe, what I think, what I know and what I have done and will do.
Opinions are free, we all deserve to have them, and we all have the right to hold ones that are in direct opposition to the facts. Doing so, however, ill fits a woman who claims to be a feminist, because one of the things that we fought for, that even our mothers and grandmothers and great great great grandmothers fought for, was the simple dignity of being treated as intelligent, logical human beings.
If there is evidence that the Obama campaign made sexist statements, or that Barack Obama himself did so, show it to me. If there is evidence that Barack Obama himself is racist, or that his wife is so, show it to me. I KNOW that there is racism displayed against my candidate and his wife, I have seen the evidence of it in emails that are forwarded to me by people I used to respect, displayed by those voters in Democratic primaries all over the country who had the courage of their convictions (as repugnant as those convictions may be) and stated "Yes," that race had, indeed, been an issue when they chose a candidate to vote for.
I have seen posters who fumed over what they see as the calculations, the opportunism of the Obama campaign. At first I laughed, because I have seen so many comments, over the years, condemning the Clintons, both Bill and Hillary, for those same traits. Ladies and Gentlemen, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are POLITICIANS. If they did not calculate their moves, if they had not jumped on the opportunities that they perceived, we would not be having this discussion: we would never have heard of any of them.
NO MATTER WHO won this primary, it was to be historic. The first woman or the first minority of any race leading the ticket for a major political party. I am prouder than I have ever been to say that I am a Democrat. I hope that others who have spoken in anger, in response, perhaps, to others who post vilifying statements for the pleasure of seeing their bile on the computer screen, will remember that they, too, have much cause to be proud of their party, as well, and vote for our presidential candidate in November.
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Thank You, Celia and Renegade
[Read the article: Clinton endorses Obama]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]And by the way, I DID follow the link to that horrid video on YouTube. If you want sexist, then watch that thing. The man who made that 10 minute screed against Michelle Obama managed to find one actual quote from her (a snippet from her master's thesis) and spent 10 minutes combining it with rumors and his own disgusting point of view.
The comments section of the video's page is enlightening, as well: FULL of both racist and sexist comments, not to mention being plain old disgusting.
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@indigo
[Read the article: Clinton endorses Obama]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I wish...I wish. I'll be more than happy to get paid for expressing my opinion and supporting Hillary.
You are not supporting Hillary. Hillary, yesterday, gave a lovely speech asking you to put whatever passion" you put into her candidacy into assuring the election of Barack Obama, not into calling him childish names.
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Find a Time to REALLY Talk
[Read the article: Will my boyfriend ever want kids and marriage?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Explain that you are NOT assuming that the two of you will end up together forever, but that you DO love him, and that you want to know his serious thoughts on the subject.
From what you've written, he's managed (as have you) to gloss over real feelings in favor of joking around about it. My ex's brother did the same garbage with babies--pretending to be terrified of them. Then, when he actually became a father, fell in love with his daughter, and became a more or less (more less than more, but still) competent parent.
I assume that you are young, as well. Don't just ask him what he wants, ask YOU what you want. WHEN do you see yourself married, having a baby? How many kids do you ultimately want? And ask both of you questions like "What does the idea of marriage mean, what do you see in your mind's eye when you think of a marriage? A bad one? A good one?"
"When you think of having children, what do you see? What are the good and the bad aspects that YOU see in becoming a parent and raising a child/children?"
If you have been together for a full year, and you love each other, then it is time to find out what you both want for your futures. Not because, necessarily, you WILL spend them together. But because you care enough about each other to want to have that level of intimacy. Knowing each other's hopes and dreams is part of a relationship. Hanging out and avoiding tough issues isn't being boyfriend and girlfriend. It's barely even being fuckbuddies.