Letters to the Editor
VenetianMilwaukee
Published Letters: 9
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Portable Music...
[Read the article: Why do gyms play such crappy music?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I gave up going to the local "Y" after finding I could not get on the walking/running machines... they were always reserved for some class or another. So, I started race walking on my own. While at the Y they had a local station on and I was always wishing they had just had silence on since it was a distraction from what I had on my mp3 player. Currently, for my 10 miles of walking I have a player loaded with a bunch of singles as well as a couple of techno mixes from Podrunner at DJsteve.com. Sometimes the pounding of techno drives me and sometimes I'm really put off by it but when I'm in the mood for it, Podrunner does the trick and it's free. (No, I don't work for the site!)
Being a moble DJ, music is important to me. So, my work out mix has a lot of variety. Some that work for me are tunes by Tina Turner (Simply the Best), Devo (Pop Music), Fergie, Hoku (Perfect Day), Hobostank (The Reason), Madonna (Vogue, Rain), Natasha Bedingfield, (unwritten is a perfect pace!), Proclaimers (500 Miles),Ram Jam (Black Betty), The New Loud (Secrets) - Milwaukee band, Vanilla Ice (Ice Ice - naturally), Gnarls Barkly, Eminem, (With out me), Evanesance (Anything!) and a bit of Aerosmith (Walk this way). Not bad for a guy in his mid 40's, hey?
I think you have to find what drives you along and sets a relatable beat or had somet meaning to it. Songs that affirm seem to be helpful. I also rotate what is on my playlist quite often so that I don't get bored. But, some are standards that are always there, including a couple to get me over the 'wall' that I think everyone hits in exercise.
Exercise and be well!
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From Both sides of my Brain
[Read the article: How to explain my husband to my kids?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Two issues are really at hand here. 1: The fathers behaviour, 2: How to help the kids cope, handle, deal with, their fathers behaviour.
Let me deal with the second one first, as the child of dysfunctional parents who were drunks, one into prescription medications in large doses and suffering from Schizrophenia and other mental Illness. I would get that little talk from one parent or the other telling me what was wrong with the other one. It always put me in that uncomfortable place that Mr. Tennis has it right, don't take them aside from the father and talk to them. It's not comfortable, or healthy. Healthy families - and I have done a good bit of reasearch on the topic - talk about problems openly and honestly with one another, that means, all together. It may uncomfortable, but, well so is that chat about sex.. goes with being a parent.
But, and perhaps first, we have to also deal with that first problem. The husbands behaviour. I'm going to say up front that I have no qualifications to make this statement as far as being a professional. I'm only someone who is saying this because it sounds a lot like the way I acted before I got treatment. There may be a brain chemistry problem, sometimes referred to as a mental disorder.
My wife and I would get into discussions over some small matter of disagreements and, well, there are a couple of restauraunts we don't go any more because the awful scene that played out there are too memorable. There were the nights I didn't sleep and days I paced around and could not keep my head on one thing long enough to make sence.
There were days when I was so depressed that I could hardly force myself to move, or pull one healthy thought out of the mush running in my brain.
And, days where both happened, or a mix of them.
Then one day at work it all fell in on me and that lead me to a few days in a hospital, and after some twists and turns, including firing a Psychiatrist who told us to "live with it.", and finding a different one who cared, I finally figured out that I had BiPolar Disorder. I started taking the medications, doing therapy, learning how to handle situations differently and think about them differently. In 4 years I've managed to get a handle on most of it. I take the medications, I do theraphy and yes I still have my days, but then, don't we all? My wife and I went into couples theapy and learned how to talk to one another again in healthy ways that let us function, being the couple we were. The fights are fewer, and milder and I don't think I'm putting a scare into folks like I used to.
Now, I don't know if that is the case with your husband, but at miminal, he may need some mental health help. My problems actually surfaced in my 20's, which is a sign of the BiPolar Disorder problem, but, back then, I was changing doctors so often, no one noticed my cycles.
Can you and he sit down and make a plan of action? Is there someone, perhaps even trained clergy that he would be comfortable talking about this with? Perhaps finding a therapist to talk with. Sort this out with, not necessarly to find out the exact problem - you might explain it to him that way - but to just talk about it with.
NAMI has a lot of information on their website and there is a lot of research going on.
Let me put it to you this way. In my heart of hearts, in that small kid inside of me that was hurt in those years with my parents, I wish that one of them would have worked with the other to deal with their problems. We would have all come out of it better. Perhaps one day your children will reach that same point, but they will say "And, we did something about it."
I do wish you peace and well being.
Venetian Milwaukee