Letters to the Editor
Bhamwriter
Published Letters: 41 Editor's Choice: 14
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Every relationship is different
[Read the article: Could our marriage be too perfect?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Every relationship is different, and that doesn't mean one is better than the other.
I used to think my first marriage was great because we rarely fought. Eventually I realized it was because we never fully engaged each other; while we had great conversations about topics such as politics and religion, we never tried to communicate about important personal, close-to-the-heart issues; I had simply given up trying to get him to help with housework. That marriage lasted five years.
I'm 14 years into my second marriage, and we do fight more often than I'd like, but overall I'm much happier this time around. Even if we bicker sometimes about domestic responsibilities or take our stress out on each other when we shouldn't, I feel we have a deep understanding and appreciation of each other that was missing in my first marriage.
So I think Cary's advice is good. If LW and her husband are truly communicating about things that make them unhappy, then not fighting sounds great. But they may encounter new situations that can bring about new levels of stress and conflict, such as having kids, and they should be prepared for that.
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Yuk!
[Read the article: Who wants to be a MILF?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]And I thought it was bad enough when I recently wanted to buy a nightgown for my 3-year-old at Target that it was impossible to find anything that wasn't either plastered with commercial images (Disney princesses, ack) or smart-ass comments like "I'm cuter than you!"
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Plus sizes
[Read the article: Sexy maternity]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It's become easier to find attractive plus-size clothing in recent years, but forget it whent it comes to plus-size maternity. I'm not talking about looking sexy, just not frumpy! I had a motley collection of a few things I found in the paltry plus size section at Motherhood Maternity, some XX men's T-shirts, a couple of regular tops that I bought in a larger size. Thank goodness for the JC Penney maternity catalog I found at my OB/GYN's office, which at least had some cute capris and tops in plus sizes.
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Respect for flag
[Read the article: Capture the flag]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I think it's ironic that the baseball players saved flag is now "yellowed and tattered," which according to the U.S. Flag Code, means it should be burned as a respectful way to retire it. I frequently see flags in such a state of deterioriation that it's shameful. And I bet many of the same people who neglect their flag this way are also in favor of this amendment.
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Did I enter a time warp?
[Read the article: The way to a man's heart is through a vacuum cleaner?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Sounds like something that would have been in a ladies' magazine of decades gone by.
I'm not a slob, but my husband has a much lower tolerance for mess than I do. Therefore, he does nearly all the cleaning. I handle meal planning, grocery shopping (which he hates) and cooking (which he can do, but I'm better at.) We share the laundry and the yard work. So I guess we're nurturing each other, and that's a good place to be.
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My husband and I were just talking about this topic...
[Read the article: All the guys I'm dating want me to shave down there]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]In a recent issue of Playboy magazine, there was actually a pictorial of a woman who was not shaved! Oh, it wasn't full bush, but it was more than the usual tiny strip or nothing at all. It was a refreshing sight.
Ironically, in the same issue, there was a first-person article by a woman who got her first Brazilian wax -- that's where they wax everything, including your butt. (Here's a link to a 1999 Salon article: http://www.salon.com/health/feature/1999/09/03/bikini/)
I'm with you -- I'm a larger woman, I don't think it's attractive shaved, and it's damned uncomfortable as it grows back in. My skin is very sensitive, and based on what happened the one time I got my eyebrows waxed, I'm definitely not going to get my "privates" waxed! I'd no doubt end up with the painful boils and cysts that the Playboy article mentions as a possible side effect.
You might try a compromise -- keep it neatly trimmed. My husband does this for me, using his beard trimmer to keep the length shorter and shaving around the edges for a neater look. He likes performing orally on me better this way, and I can't complain about that. Also, a lot of hair tends to trap odors. Keeping it shaved or trimmed makes it more appealing that way, too. (I knew one guy who loved funky-smelling pubes, but he was definitely the exception.)
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If I were going to do it again...
[Read the article: Labor support for young mothers]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I would at least look into having a doula. My husband, I think, really would rather go back to the old days when the men sat in the waiting room and smoked during delivery. He was there for me during our scheduled C-section (baby was breech), but I think he would have had a hard time in regular childbirth, even though we took classes together. And neither one of us had any experience with babies -- no nieces or nephews or friends with kids, and mental and physical health problems precluded either of our mothers from being much help. Having someone to turn to would have been a big help. And I'm sure that's even more so for underprivileged mothers who may be young and single.
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Sort of like communism...
[Read the article: This is not your mother's polygamy]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Like communism, polygamy sounds great in theory, but in real life it's a different story because of human emotions like greed and jealousy. If polygamy were like it were portrayed in Robert Heinlein's science fiction novels, groups of men and women who loved each other without jealousy and provided a nurturing environment for all the children involved, it would be great. But too often what happens, it appears, is as other writers have described, with young girls being pushed into it and men using it as a power trip.