Letters to the Editor
rosiepink
Published Letters: 17 Editor's Choice: 4
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eye contact
[Read the article: Instant prejudice: Korea and Virginia Tech]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Actually, being part Korean, I can tell you it's normal in Korea (and other Asian countries) to keep to yourself and not to know your neighbors very well. Usually you have a couple of close family friends whom you have known for years. This is partly due to Neo-Confucianism where the most important people in your life are your family members. One of my Japanese instructors told our class in college that the suicide rate in Japan is high because many people go through life without many friends. As far as eye contact goes, that is also a cultural issue. Of course, this is all changing as we speak since many Asian countries are "modernizing."
However, setting fire to your dorm, stalking women, and writing violent stories are clearly signs of a mental illness.
I'm guessing part of the problem with the suspect being referred to a college counseling service is that their therapists are not trained in different cultural norms. Although there's been studies on Asian families and psychology, I remember 10 years ago that I could find only one book in my university library that addressed the issue. That book was very thorough though in my opinion. I don't remember the name of it.
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Thanks for the article
[Read the article: Killer reflection]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Thank you, Salon, for writing this article. The early news articles about how Cho was quiet and good at math really missed the point. Someone in a forum mention earlier that being quiet and being completely silent are two completely different things.
Now there are articles about how Cho was picked on and bullied in school for his speech problems: http://www.edmontonsun.com/News/World/2007/04/19/4068653.html
Interestingly,a Korean newspaper had quotations from Cho's grandfather saying that Cho as a child had speech problems and that this was a concern to his parents:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/04/19/virginiatechshooting/main2703671_page2.shtml
If this is true, then Cho's speech problems may have stemmed from his mental illness or some other biological abnormality in his brain. Perhaps the teasing at school fueled depression. Over time his family would had to have known Cho had problems that had nothing to do with moving to the US.
Unfortunately, in many lower-class families, mental illness is not acknowledged because to do so would place a great economic burden on the family. How many people planning to have children calculate the costs of having one treated for years or even institutionalized in the event their child is mentally disabled?
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autism
[Read the article: Killer reflection]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]According to this article: http://www.kwtx.com/home/headlines/7101526.html
Cho's parents were told that he was autistic. This makes so much more sense to me. His parents were aware that their son was different, but they were given a plausible explanation for his behavior.
To me this case will only highlight our nation's need for a national health care system along with stricter gun laws. With a national heal care system, maybe Cho would have seen more doctors earlier.
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Why apologize?
[Read the article: Killer reflection]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]There's no short answer to this question. My SO, who is not Asian, is mystified by why Koreans and Korean-Americians are apologizing about Cho's actions. Also my SO doesn't care about the ethnicity of Cho, who he views as a psychopath. However, I'm half Korean and I can tell you if someone in the extended family does something shameful, it's seen as bringing shame to the entire family. A Korean family is never just about each member's achievements but also includes their failures. Personally I think this is much more a strength than a problem. A friend from Mexico asked me why did Korea become an economic powerhouse while Mexico is behind. Both countries suffered from corrupt government officials and high levels of poverty during the late decades of the twentieth century. I tell him it's the strong family structure. When a rich aunt has a niece or nephew who does well in school, it would be unthinkable for her not to give money to that niece or nephew for college, no matter what she thinks of the parents or whatever disagreements she has with them. When my mother's cousin immigrated, she gave up her entire paycheck for several months to help them out. It did not matter that our family was already struggling to make ends meet or that she disliked her cousin's spouse. Everyone in your extended family matters, despite their economic status, religion, or personal hygiene.
One of the most common questions on Korean blogs is why didn't Cho's family visit Korea. It's thought that if he was suffering from depression or low self-esteem, visits with his extended family might have been able to help him. Another question is why couldn't he have killed only himself and spared his parents and family pain and disgrace.