Letters to the Editor
rosiepink
Published Letters: 17 Editor's Choice: 4
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Visit the places you want to go
[Read the article: I'm a small-town girl dreaming of the big-city lights]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Dear LW,
Your letter sounds like a mini mid-life crisis. Perhaps you're getting it because you live in a small town where women are considered over the hill at 25. The solution is to start trying out new things. Don't just read about visiting somewhere new. Go there. Now. While you're young.
As the daughter of a transplanted Midwesterner dad, I say to follow your dream. But make sure you know your dream really well. My guess is that at 25 years, you aren't really sure yet what your dream is. In a big town, like Atlanta or Chicago, 25 is very young. You would be considered a baby! By the way, you probably look great but won't be able to appreciate it until you're 30. Don't rely on your boyfriend to know that you are pretty.
My dad lived and died in a Southern town he couldn't stand. As his daughter, I had to listen to all his complaints AND his rationale for staying. Do you really think your future children won't figure out that you're "Madame Bovary" or Edna in "The Awakening"? What type of role model would you be for them? Also what about their dreams? What if they turn out even a little bit like you and become alienated from their peers? I find it somewhat disturbing that you assume your children won't be anything like you.
But don't jump in the car with all your belongings yet. Do research on the city you're interested in. Maybe a big city like Atlanta isn't for you. Maybe you need to live in the outskirts of a big city. Decatur (outside of Atlanta) and Evanston (outside of Chicago, also has a beach) are trendy places for young folks. Maybe you would be better off in a smaller, laid-back town like Wilmington, NC, which has a college and a beach. There are also places like Oxford, MS, Auburn, AL, and even Austin, TX. Check them all out. They're all growing and not so small anymore.
I know many people from small southern towns who went to the "big city" to follow their dream. Yes, it was exciting, but it hasn't brought them happiness. One girl, who's working on her PhD at a prominent university, is on the verge of giving it all up. She wants to return to a small Southern town because she hasn't been able to compete with the students at her school or in the dating field. Turns out that people can be vicious when there are bigger paychecks involved, whether it's a GTA position or a cute guy. Because she's a student with a limited budget, she has to live in a dangerous area of town where her car has been broken into 5 times. She's tired of the drug dealers, snotty professors, and crazy dot-com millionaire gold-diggers and just wants to live in a small but relatively safe town where she can sit out on the porch with a good book from the library.
(Oh, that's right. You can tell so much about a town by visiting their library. Is it falling apart or are they expanding? If the library is scary, don't live in that town.)
Tell your boyfriend you need at least another two year to decide if marriage is really for you. Since he's not interested in children right away, it shouldn't matter to him when you guys gets married. (Unless he's interested in owning your property.) Next, start planning weekend get-aways in different cities. Do whatever you've always had a hankering to do: whether it's visiting poetry readings, kayaking, tai chi, etc. If you're on a limited budget, stay at a hostel. If you're budget is really limited, look into staying at campgrounds, some of which are free. Also look up festivals: book festivals, renaissance festivals, science fiction festivals, oyster festivals, wine festivals, and even Halloween costume parties. It's sometimes easier to meet new people at an event.
Maybe all you need is one trip a month to somewhere stimulating and that will enough for you. But you won't know until you try it. Maybe you'll be so inspired by a visit to a book shop or a tai chi session, you're start planning to open one up in your small town. Maybe you'll become an avid sea kayaker. Right now anything is possible.
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ditto
[Read the article: Instant prejudice: Korea and Virginia Tech]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Less people would be injured or dead if he did not have access to the guns. The idea that we "the sane" can shoot every lunatic we meet is absurd.
According to the Chicago Tribune, the suspect had taken medication for depression at one point and had been referred to the school's psychological services because of his violent writings. He also apparently stalked women. So there were clear warning signs that this guy was psychotic, but once again with the current state of mental health care services in this country, no one could do anything about it.
If we had spent money on a national health care system that included mental health services instead of on a pointless war in Iraq, then stuff like this would be less common. But it makes sense that people who think that guns solve problems would support both a war in Iraq and liberal access to guns.
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Neighbors report not seeing him around
[Read the article: "I think he was just a confused kid"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]A neighbor reports not seeing the suspect around for the last couple of years. Perhaps he had a falling out with his family. Unfortunately, it's normal for the family members surrounding the mentally ill to ignore all the signs or even to disown them.