When my husband and I began to look for our first home, we were offered buy-downs, balloons, and variables. We had no money to put down, but intended to use FHA and buy a modest home with a payment that would total(taxes, ins., etc.), our rent at that time. I was steadfast in my insistence on a thirty-year fixed-rate loan at a decent rate. If I couldn't get it, I made it very clear I was happy to keep renting. We got everything we wanted -- a 1200 sq. ft. house built in 1928 and a fixed-rate mortgage at 5.6 percent because we did have to pay down some points.

We didn't really qualify for that loan. We got it on a refinance of a 3-2-1 buydown, I admit it. We were considered sub-prime because we were first-time buyers with no collateral, etc. Here's what I don't understand. I insisted on the mortgage deal that we now have and it cost us a lot up front during the re-fi.

You said that the other forms of mortgages I mention above are "more expensive." Absolutely. You've got me there. Hold that note for thirty years, and you've paid out the nose. BUT, and this is a big, big BUT. Sell that note in three months, and you actually made, as my real-estate agent and mortgage broker TRIED to tell me twenty times, a cheaper up-front transaction to take the sub-prime deal... even if you can get the prime one.

Weird, huh?

Sol.

whether or not any treatment is being sought/administered. Aricept, for instance? If your dad takes this medication, does he know why? If he doesn't, has "not telling him" prevented him (and your mom) from seeking out the possibilities?

I say this because both my Mother and I have Multiple Sclerosis. When she was given her diagnosis in 1971 (the doctors withheld the diagnosis from her for five years "because they couldn't do anything about it, anyway"! Can you imagine?), she asked the doctor what could be done and he said "nothing." At the time that was true so she decided never to return, but over the course of her illness, knowledge of MS symptom management changed and developed and she didn't even know about these things that might have helped her.

I'm fortunate. For me, there are now injectable medications that have kept me exacerbation-free for the last ten years (After the first ten years of constant problems and even being wheelchair-bound for a time).

I know that suggesting pharmaceuticals is likely to draw some fire in my direction, but not all of them are evil. If not telling your father involves (or has involved) withholding treatment, then maybe that is also something to discuss with his doctor.

Just like my illness, it will progress. Medications, I'm well aware, don't cure the disease. The possibility exists, however, to slow the progression. Of course, that is for a doctor to determine, but if it might help and hasn't (yet) been considered, (because no one wants him to know what he has)then that is a disservice to your father.

that my heart breaks for you and your family. To watch someone you knew as a pillar of strength fall victim to something like Alzheimers (or the brain-atrophy-induced dementia my mother suffers) is a horrible experience. I didn't mean for my previous post to sound like a tsk-tsk. It was meant in the spirit of trying to be helpful and I apologize if it didn't sound that way.