So, our President thinks U.S. citizens should have learn to speak English. The Decider-in-Chief does realize, doesn't he, that this means he'll have to take lessons?

And how many of U.S. citizens he likes to idealize -- the ones "born here," the ones growing up speaking English -- know the words to the national anthem in English? How many can name the first five U.S. presidents? How many can find Washington, DC -- let alone other countries in the world, in some of which U.S. citizens are dying every day -- on a map?

It's frightening that the President's misdirection is working: "Don't look at these problems, including my potentially impeachable offenses. Look at this thing over here, instead!"

It's now possible to directly record audio and video of events as they happen. It's possible to store those recordings and watch them again. And anybody can do that -- Republicans, too!

Here's another one for you, Scott: not everybody wondering exactly what mission was accomplished in Iraq, whether 3 years ago or today, is a Democrat.

Charlie McCarthy or Mortimer Snerd, the press secretary is just the dummy. Until we get a new Edgar Bergen, there's no reason to expect anything new and different from Tony Snow, except that he makes it possible to tell better jokes (lying = Snow job).

If media outlets and individual reporters are willing to be consistently "in your face" with tough questions, day in and day out, then we might start getting some real information. But it has to be consistent, and all reporters have to present at least a somewhat united demand for information.

That won't happen because the reporters don't have the backing of their media bosses, who are beholden to their advertisers and rely on focus groups for a sense of what's important to John and Jane Public. And Americans really don't care what the President is doing as long as they can buy whatever toy is cool.

An engaged, interested citizenry: now there's a real Twilight Zone scenario.

Stephanie Zacharek's, I mean. First of all, she had to see the movie -- a difficult experience. Second, she had to review it -- and writing is always like bleeding onto the page, though sometimes it's more like opening an artery than others. I'm grateful that when I see this movie, and someday I will in some form, I will be able to see it and respond to it in private, whether in the small community of a theater or in my own home.

The bigger issues -- should the movie have been made, how should it have been made, should someone profit from it, etc. -- will always be with us, no matter what art form humans use to contemplate and respond to events. Investigating hell is what artists do; it's what they should do.

The genocide in Rwanda, the terrorist attacks in 2001, wars throughout the Middle East, the tsunami -- they all happened, whether or not movies are made. My opinion: it's a good thing when artists are ready to look at an event. As individuals, we can choose to participate in their art, or not. But the work of artists -- however imperfect, biased, naive -- is good for us as a society.

...explain to me whatever happened to the letter "s." Why doez everything end in z now? When did it start? (Boyz n the Hood? Boyz to Men?) And more important, when will it end?

And although thiz iz irrelevant to my plea (I'm serious; pleaz explain the z thing!), I have a feeling I'll find this movie funnier in 2008.

Let's all sing...the Blame Game!

Scott McClellan! Scotty Scotty bo-botty, banana fana fo-fotty, me my I'm-no-hotty...Scotty!

Scooter Libby! Scooter Scooter bo-booter, banana fana fo-footer, me my mom-never-named-me...Scooter!

Judith Miller! Judy Judy tryin'-to-be-a-cutie, banana fana fo-fudy, me my mo-mudy...Judy!

Back to Scooter! No, on to Bob!

Bob Woodward! Bob not bob-Redford, banana fana fo-fedford, me my mo-medford...Bob not Redford!

Another Bob! Robert Novak! Novak Novak blow-bloviak, banana fana fo-foviak, me my mo-moviak...Novak!

Karl Rove! Karl, Karl, bo-barl, banana fana fo-farl, me my mo-snarl...Snarlin' Karl!

Dick Cheney! Dick, Dick, bo-bick, banana fana fo-uhh -fick, me my mo-mick...Dick!

Now George! Aaak, back to Scooter! No, Scotty!

Repeat in case anyone is still watching...

I guess your friends will weigh in with well-meant advice even if you don't ask. Smile, say "thanks for your perspective," and go on about your non-dating business. Or date. Whatever. It's up to you.

But why ask perfect strangers, even sane ones like Cary Tennis, to pass judgment on this decision? It's not really anyone's business but your own.

Go out and live! Be nice! Have fun! Make mistakes! Serve others! You don't need anyone's blessing.

Can you imagine? You have to go out in front of cameras and say ridiculous things with a relatively straight face and without puking. Worse, you have to live with yourself while you do it.

Maybe I'm just naive; maybe it's the same in all political spokesmodel jobs. But this administration's actions have required its press secretaries to respond to legitimate questions with unfocused irritation (don't ask about the war) and doublespeak (don't ask about ongoing investigations even after I say something about them). They have to show that the President is curious, engaged, and a good leader in the face of all evidence to the contrary.

Going straight to Fox seems like a better idea than requiring an essentially decent human being (not that I admire either Scott McClellan or Ari Fleischer as a human being) to bend his scruples to this job. After all, everyone at Fox already has plenty of experience as the President's mouthpiece.

Our president: He's an educator-in-chief. And now he's a listener and a decider.

He's learned that if you add -er to a verb, you can claim an action without having to actually do it. So there's an obvious next choice: think.

But if he claims to be a thinker, will anyone have the guts to laugh?