Letters to the Editor
nmh
Published Letters: 15 Editor's Choice: 4
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I agree and yet
[Read the article: My mother-in-law, my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I always think, perversely, in situations like the one described, perhaps hubby's childhood only looked idealic. Maybe this is a family fiction. Maybe they all collectively agreed about it in unspoken family form. Maybe hubby, who is obviously NOT sticking up for his wife (or helping around the house from the way it sounds)needs therapy too to crack the illusion of the "prefect mother".
just sayin.
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me and my schizo shadow
[Read the article: Madness, medication and motherhood]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm not the schizo, my mother was (is). I'm a long list of other things to which "well" has been recently added. People. It's all about personal responsibility with or without mental illness. Being a healthy stable person (parent!) is work; it's not a like a fad diet, one can't just let oneself go. Personally, I'm probably going to adopt if I decide to build that kind of family; however, I have a friend who is BiPolar and doing an amazing job. She is self-aware, has a self-care system, doesn't romanticize her manic phase, and seeks help when she needs it, to make sure her children aren't taking care of "crazy mommy". I look on with awe at all she does to make sure her children are safe, loved and nurtured -- and I see very clearly how my mother failed me and my brother.
And Maud (love the name), I think this baby obsession compulsion should be looked at as just that; a loop of thinking, a narrowing of focus. Break out of it. Get in a dialogue with yourself that includes other ideas and possibilities. Let go of what you think you want. Get some fresh air.
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Thank you, Virginia
[Read the article: Our crazy mental health system]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm very grateful to see Virginia Holman's op-ed here, because I also grew up with an undertreated abusive schizophrenic mother who knows how to answer the doctor's questions. She's been avoiding treatment for years when, if I could have I might have been able to help her. Trying to help someone who is paranoid doesn't want your help (refuses to admit there's anything wrong with her)in a system where no one will help you if the person you want to help doesn't want to be helped (and can pretend for at least an hour at a time to be perfectly ok) is a farce and a nightmare. Very pleased to see someone say something about the rights of families and especially the children of people with mental illnesses.
-Nicole
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what a to do
[Read the article: I think my boyfriend had an episode of major depression]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Contrary to what other letter writers posted, the best time to work on depression is when one isn't feeling "depressed". When one is depressed the thought of helping oneself is exhausting and depressing and makes one feel like a pitiful turd. Whether or not the bf is depressed, I can't tell as I'm not a doctor (though two years of not working or getting out of bed sounds like it was lifted straight out of the DSM), but I don't think it's rare that people just get depressed for no reason. If there are things to be worked out they should be worked out in therapy, however; one can only do that when one is ready. Can't make someone recover. LW should look into the reasons why she is possibly self destructive (?) possibly a wee bit controlling (?) Or why else in the name of love would she be with that charming guy.
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Niedzviecki - Hi, welcome to the party
[Read the article: Hipster rebel punk outsiders -- 99 cents a dozen]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Dude, we've been trying to reach you for like 20 years. We thought for sure we had talked to you about all this at recess in 1985, but you probably didn't listen to us because we were wearing pants with an elastic waistband. Maybe you didn’t hear us, but didn't we all piss and moan about how nothing was authentic anymore and that even taking drugs was useless, because even "the man" was taking them; and how pointless it was to even try to be different because someone’s college age brother would tease us to tears if we even attempted to "be different" by telling us (boorishly like young college age guys are when they have 2 bits of knowledge to rub together) the exact historical significance of wearing torn jeans or black velvet and old lace; how we couldn’t be punk because that was already over. We pushed up our glasses and talked about how greenhouse gases were going to kill us, if the nukes didn’t first; some things never seem to change.
What am I going on about? No one reads history, and don’t I wish I could write a useless book for the set that some how even managed to miss “Fight Club”.